Breaking Dawn or Breaking Down?
by BungeeArms
Summary: After the Cullen's left Bella alone, New kids move in, the blended family of Sterling's and McCaffrey's. Read as Bella meets this new family and see what happens when the Cullen's come back.
1. Chapter 1

Wallow.

Cry.

Sleep.

Nightmare.

Scream.

Awake.

Cry.

Pain.

This is my life. This is what it has become. Ever since they left…ever since they left me. He told me he didn't want me. He told me I was just a distraction. That he never loved me, that he didn't need me. But I need him. In the worst way possible. He's my brand of heroin. And I thought I was his.

I walked into school in a sleepy daze. I don't sleep well anymore. I'm something of an insomniac. When I can't sleep it's usually because of the nightmare's I have now that he's gone. So I prefer not to sleep if I can help it. I just study a lot at night and do home work. The only plus in this situation is that my grades are the highest they ever been.

I went to my first period English class and sat down beside Mike. Mike was still after me to date him. But I wouldn't budge. I keep telling him that Jessica likes him but he won't listen.

"Good Morning Bella!" He said cheerfully.

"Morning Mike." I said giving him a tired smile.

"You look tired Bella." He said. I nod as the teacher walks in and starts class, effectively cutting off a situation that occurs often between Mike and me. He worries about me and my well being. He's a good friend, but that's all he'll ever be.

I pass through classes in a daze of notes and work. And before I know it it's lunch time. I don't sit with anyone. I sit at their old table. But when I get in there, there are people sitting at the table, my table. I didn't recognize them so they must be new. So of course they wouldn't know not to sit there. Everybody else knows that's my table and to not to disturb me. Everyone's really nice about it; they know I prefer to be solitary now.

I don't know what got into me but I go up to my table where the new kids are sitting.

"Excuse me but this is my table." I say quietly when I get there. They all look up at me.

"I'm sorry; we didn't realize anyone sat here." Said a pretty red head, her hair was down to her shoulders and in glossy curls. She wore a white polo shirt with a light blue knit scarf around her neck and blue jeans tucked into her uggs.

"I don't see your name on it!" Said a boy to her left. He was pale white with bright blue eyes and dark black hair that hug in his face in typical emo boy/skater fashion. He wore a loose fitting black long sleeved t shirt with a pair of black skinny jeans and a pair of black Chuck Taylor's.

"Ayden be nice!" Said a short girl on Ayden's left. She had short chin length blonde hair. She was wearing a light pink hoodie, black leggings and black mid calf flat boots. Ayden turned to her and glared.

"Shut it Brenna." He hissed out. The blonde stuck her tongue out. The red head shook her head and then spoke to me.

"I apologize for my siblings. I'm Sage Sterling, I'm a junior. This dork is my twin brother Ayden Sterling. To his left is our step sister Brenna McCaffrey she's a sophomore. On my right is my step brother, Brenna's older brother Trent McCaffrey, he's a senior. And to his right is my older brother Zach Sterling, who is also a senior." Sage finished. I nodded. Trent was tall and quiet. He had shaggy black hair. His ears were pierced a couple of times. He wore a T shirt that had some rock band on it and he wore ripped jeans with Dr. Martens. Zach had shoulder length brown hair. He wore a plaid T shirt with skinny jeans and a pair of Adidas soccer shoes on his feet.

"I'm Bella Swan, I'm a junior." I said quietly.

"Well good for you!" Said Ayden sarcastically.

"Forget it you can have the table." I said lowering my gaze as I started to walk away.

"Wait!" Said a male voice. He grabbed my wrist and turned me around, it was Zach. "Sit with us!" He demanded in a child like manner with a huge grin on his face. I glanced at Ayden and then shook my head no. Zach stuck his bottom lip out in a pout. I sighed and nodded. "Aw Bella you're such a push over!" Said Zach smiling, giving my arm a little push. I just gave him a small smile. I could tell we were going to be good friends.

Ayden made a face and crossed his arms over his chest. Brenna and Sage rolled their eyes at him. Trent shook his head and popped his ear buds into his ears and started his eye pod.

"So tell us about yourself." Said Brenna leaning forward and looking at me.

"You guys first. You're the new ones." I said quietly.

"Why are you so quiet!?" Said Ayden loudly. We all stared at him. I lowered my gaze to the table.

"Don't worry about it." I said looking back up. He gave me a confused look.

"Okay I guess we can go first." Said Sage smiling and breaking the awkward silence. But then a second later the bell rang.

"Maybe later." I said. I got up swiftly and walked away from the table. I could feel their gazes burning into my back. I made my way to my biology class slowly. I could feel someone following close behind me. I turned my head to look over my shoulder only to see Ayden. He sped up so he was walking beside me.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey." I said back quietly.

"Listen I didn't mean to be such a bitch." He said giving me a small smile. I smiled back.

"It's okay." We walked for a couple of seconds in silence.

"Bella where's the bio room?" He blurted out.

"Just come with me, that's where I'm going now." I said. He smiled and nodded. When we got to bio room I went and sat in my seat. I glanced at _his_ empty seat briefly before fixing my gaze on my hands that were sitting on the table top.

"Class we have a new student. Why don't you introduce yourself?" Mr. Banner said. I looked up in time to see Ayden role his eyes. I suppressed a smile.

"My name is Ayden Sterling. I just moved here with my mom and step dad and my twin sister Sage my older brother Zach and my step siblings Brenna and Trent. We moved here from New York City. So this place is like another universe. Can I go sit down now?" He said with a load of attitude. I let my smile show for just a second and then quickly let it drop.

"Okay Mr. Sterling, go ahead and sit beside Ms. Swan. Ms. Swan, raise your hand." Mr. Banner said. But before I could Ayden spoke up.

"Yeah I know Bella! She's like my bff!" He said being silly. I smiled looking down at the desk again. He plopped himself down beside me, chuckling. I shook my head as Mr. Banner started the lesson. The class went by fast.

I packed up my things quickly and left the bio room, I knew Ayden was hot on my trail. I walked out of the building, heading to the parking lot. He grabbed my hand and turned me around.

"Where are you going Bella? School isn't over." He said smiling.

"I'm skipping." I said.

"You shouldn't skip." He said frowning.

"Sometimes it's healthy to skip." I said.

"Fine." He said angrily, letting me go. I looked at him confused.

"Ayden?" I said. He shook his head, putting his hands up to stop me. He turned away and walked swiftly back to the school. What was wrong with this kid, first he's bitchy then he does a complete one eighty and is nice and calling me his bff and now he's bitchy again? I shook my head. I'm not going to let this bi polar kid give me the run around. I continued walking to my truck and got in. I wasn't going to get myself mixed up with another guy. _He_ was enough for one life time.

I drove home, keeping my mind blank. I got home did my home work, cooked dinner, and went to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey Everyone!!!! I woke up this morning to a load of emails in my box! You guys really like this story huh? That's cool, I didn't expect that. Well I'm not sure where this is going. I'm open to suggestions though! Please review more to let me know what you think. Oh yeah one more thing. I want to change my user name I'm just not sure what I want to change it to. What do you all think?**

* * *

I had nightmares again last night, same old same old.

I was laying in bed awake for a couple of hours before my alarm clock went off. I quickly shut it off and got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom to take a shower.

I was all alone. I had heard Charlie leave for work around 5 00. It was now 7 00. It seemed like he was never around anymore. He was always down at La Push with Billy or Sue. Sue's husband Harry died a little bit ago, Dad has been spending more and more time with her. I think they're dating.

He won't leave me alone about one thing though, Jacob. He wants me to be friends with him, and I keep refusing. I don't want to get mixed up with another boy. _He_ was enough for one life time.

I quietly got out of the shower and walked over to the steamed up mirror. I drew a happy face in the steam where my face should have been. I stared at for a few minutes before finally breaking. I gave the mirror a quick one two, punching it with my right hand and then my left hand. It shattered into a million little pieces. As I looked at the pieces on the ground I saw droplets of blood. I held up my hands and looked at my knuckles. There were bits of glass in them and they were bleeding pretty badly. I sighed and got a pair of tweezers and started pulling the slivers out and bandaging my hands.

Blood didn't bother me much anymore; nothing really did, except for just now when I broke the mirror. It got to me. I want to know why I can't be happy like everyone else.

When I was finished with my hands I walked to the door way of the bathroom and turned to look at the mess I made I shook my head and walked back to my room.

I quickly got dresses. I wore a white V neck T shirt a pair of ripped boy friend jean, oh the irony, and a pair of black chucks. I pulled on my plain black hoodie and then walked back to the bathroom with note in hand. I had written a note for Charlie, telling him I had broken the mirror and I'll clean it up later. I taped it to the door and then went down stairs. I ate quickly and then grabbed my bag. It wasn't too cold outside thank god, but there was a slight breeze.

I got into my ancient truck and pulled out of the driveway, heading towards school. I rolled the window down and let my hair air dry. My long straight brown hair was now down to the small of my back, much longer then when _they_ left. I pulled into the parking lot about fifteen minutes before the start of school

All of a sudden my door was opened and I was pulled out of the car and door slammed behind me. Jessica and Lauren cornered me up against my car.

"Hey Bella! How's it going?" Said Jessica cheerfully. I knew it was fake, she wanted something, she was the school gossip. What could I possibly give her?

"It goes… What do you want Jess?" I said quietly.

"Come now Bella. Is that any way to treat friends?" Said Lauren smiling at me, her smile looked more like a painful grimace than anything else. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Just cut the crap and tell me what you to want." I said looking at the ground.

"The Sterling McCaffreys." Said Jessica. I looked up at her.

"What about them?" I said.

"Spill Bella! We know you sat with them yesterday at lunch. Are they your knew replacement family because the Cullen's left you?" Said Lauren in a bitchy tone.

"Go away." I said starting to walk away from them.

"Bella." Said Jess, grabbing my arm and turning me. "Don't worry about Lauren she's PMS-ing." She said. Lauren rolled her eyes and looked away from us toward the school. "Just tell me what you know about them."  
"Jess I don't know anything but their names and where there from and what grade there in. But I would assume everyone knows that by now." I said crossing my arms and staring her down. She just stood there eyeing me up for a few seconds until Lauren spoke.

"Forget her they're here, let's go talk to them Jess." She said. Lauren grabbed Jess and they raced off toward the school where I could see the Sterling's and McCaffrey's getting out of their cars. I watched as Jess and Lauren walked up to them and started making fools of themselves, hanging all over the boys. I started walking to the school when I heard someone call my name. I turned to see Zach waving his arms like a mad man and disentangling himself from Jess and Lauren, who had pouty faces on when they saw he was heading over to me. He skipped up to me, like a little girl, and hugged me.

"Good morning!" He said.

"You're too happy and it's too early." I said walking away, he kept in step with me.

"Yeah well." He said smiling. And then his smile dropped and face took on a serious expression. "Bella I'm sorry about Ayden, I know he can be bitchy but he's mad. He didn't want to move here, and he's taking it out on you, and that's not fair." Zach said. I sighed as we stopped outside of my English class.

"Don't worry about it Zach." I said giving his arm a little push. He smiled and nodded.

"Your one cool chick Bella Swan." He said. I smiled. He gave my arm a little flick and then giggled like a little kid and then yet again skipped off to class. That boy is either really immature or really gay… either way I'm not bothered. It would be nice to just be friends with a boy and not have to have any romantic expectations come with the relationship. I know Zach and I are going to be good friends.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey I got a lot of reviews again that was great. But what would have been greater is if you all would have given me name change ideas like I asked! But its okay, I figured it out myself. Just in case you all forgot who I was, I was Moshito and now I'm Soulless Whispers.**

* * *

My morning classes went rather fast. But they were not empty of Mike trying to worry over me and ask me out. He did deviate a little bit today from his usual storm of questions and worries. In English today he turned to talk to me.

"Bella." He said.

"What is it Mike."  
"I don't want you hanging out with those new kids." This made me stiffen up.

"You don't have the right to tell me who I can and cannot hang out with Mike." I said throwing daggers at him with my eyes. He shrunk down in his seat because of the look I was giving him.

But that was this morning. I was on my way to lunch now. But I couldn't stop thinking about what Mike said. It wasn't that I was actually taking what he said into consideration, oh no, it was that I couldn't believe he actually had the balls to say it.

I walked into the cafeteria and went through the line as quickly as I could. When I got out of it I looked around the cafeteria. I saw the Sterling McCaffrey's sitting at my table, I wasn't sure I was going to sit with them, I liked my lunch time solitude. But then the choice of where to sit was taken away from me.

"BEEELLLLAAAAA!" Yelled out Zach. Oh God, I thought, he is so much like Alice. I mentally frowned while smiling at Zach. I had promised myself I wouldn't think of them anymore.

Zach came running up to me and squeezed me in a tight hug while picking me up off the ground, making me drop my water bottle and my bag of chips. He put me down and bent down to pick up my food.

"Is this all you're eating?" He asked. I raised my eyebrow as if to say want to make something of it. He laughed and pulled me over to where the others were sitting. He literally shoved me into a seat beside Ayden and himself. I unfortunately fell into Ayden because of the force of the shove. He caught me and held me tight to his chest. He smiled down at me.

"Fancy meeting you here." He laughed. I smiled.

"Is someone over being a bitchy little bi polar girl?" I asked raising my eyebrow. He laughed again. He released me and I sat up.

"Yeah sorry."

"You want to tell me why you got upset with me for skipping?" I asked. His smile fell.

"Sorry. I was just being a bitch. I didn't want to be there at all, in school I mean, so I guess I got mad when I saw you leaving." He said looking down at the table. I laughed.

"That's lame Ayden." He looked up and laughed too.

"I guess it is." He said.

"SO Bella!" Said Zach, grabbing my arm to get my attention. "We never got to finish our lunch time discussion from yesterday." I sighed. I was about to speak when Zach's phone went off. He checked the caller ID and smiled. "It's astronomical! I love that girl!" He said flipping open his phone and talking.

"Astronomical?" I asked confused.

"Her name is Astrid, Zach is just retarded." Said Brenna rolling her eyes.

"Hey it's better than the name I gave her." Said Ayden laughing.

"Which is what?" I asked.

"Acid Trip." He said biting into his pizza. I shook my head and turned back to Zach. He was just hanging up his phone.

"So everyone good news, Astrid will be coming up to Washington to live with us!" He said bouncing. They all started talking excitedly, even Trent who I had yet to see show any emotion before now.

"So who is she?" I asked.

"Oh yeah sorry Bella I forgot you didn't know her." Said Zach. "She is my bff! And our cousin! I just love that girl!" He said smiling.

"So will she be coming to school here?" I asked.

"Oh no! She's too old, she's 21. She's a writer." Said Brenna. I just nodded, taking it all in. I sat there for a while just listening to the conversation going on around me. I think Zach forgot he wanted to continue our getting to know you discussion from lunch yesterday.

"Bella! So let's get to know each other! You thought I forgot didn't you!?" Said Zach…never mind, he remembered.

"Didn't I say yesterday for you all to go first?" I said, crossing my arms defiantly over my chest. He laughed.

"Fine I'll go first." He said smiling. I nodded, encouraging him to start. "Well my name is Zachary Ignatius Sterling." I laughed and cut him off.

"Ignatius?" I asked, giggling. He laughed too and nodded.

"Don't interrupt." He said placing a hand over my mouth. I nodded and he dropped it. "As I was saying. My name is Zachary Ignatius Sterling. I am 18, and currently a senior. I like acting like a little kid! And…Um…Well Bella I'm gay…" He said looking down at his hands, that I just noticed he was wringing on top of the table. I placed my hand on top of his and they stopped moving.

"Zach." I said. He looked up at me hopefully. I smiled at him. "I kind of figured. It's nothing to be ashamed of." I said. I saw him physically relax. He had been afraid I would reject him for being gay. Just this morning I had wondered if he was really immature or gay. "So… who's next?" I said smiling and looking around the table. Zach scooted closer to me and laid his head on my shoulder and laced his arm through mine. I laughed and laid my head on his head. Oh yeah, Zach is definitely going to become my best friend.

"I guess I'll go." Said Trent, who like yesterday was sitting on the other side of Zach. I nodded. "I'm Trent Alexander McCaffrey. I'm 18 and a senior also. I kind of like keeping to myself. And I'm not gay." He said following the pattern that Zach had set up. I laughed and Zach stuck his tongue out at me.

"My turn! I'm Sage Benay Sterling. I'm 17 and a junior. I like making new friends. And I'm not gay either." She said.

"Okay we get it! None of the rest of you are gay!" Said Zach. I laughed.

"Me next! I'm Brenna Ashley McCaffrey, I love my initials they spell BAM! I'm 16 and a Sophomore. And I'm the baby of the family."

"I guess it's my turn. I'm Ayden Brigham Sterling. I'm 17 and a junior. Sage is my twin, and I can be bitchy sometimes." He said. I laughed.

"Gee I never noticed." I said. I rolled my eyes and he glared playfully at me.

"It's your turn Bella." Said Trent quietly. I turned my head to look at him. He looked me directly in the eye. And the air felt like it charged with electricity and my heart sped up. He had the most gorgeous green eyes. I looked him over again. I had never really taken the time to look at him. I guess it was because he was always in the back ground and Zach and Ayden were always in my face. He was so good looking. "Bella?" He said. I blushed and looked down.

"Right well… My name is Isabella Marie Swan. I'm 17 and a junior. I don't really like to socialize. I need people like Zach to make me do it, or else I won't…" I felt Zach, who was still leaning on me giving my arm a little squeeze.

"Bella? Why are you so quiet?" Said Sage quietly. I smiled.

"Don't worry about it." I said, repeating what I said to Ayden the day before when he asked me that very same question. Just then the bell rang. We all got up and split. Zach and Sage headed toward the English wing. Brenna, toward the math wing. Trent, toward the art wing. And Ayden and me toward the science wing and ultimately the bio room.

We got to class and sat down and started talking quietly.

"Why did you stare at Trent like that?" He asked. I just looked down at the desk. I could feel my face getting hot. What could I say? I couldn't say that I just realized how god damn beautiful Trent was. How his beautiful bottle green eyes seemed to penetrate my soul. And how he had the pair of sexiest lips I had ever seen. I couldn't say all that. Especially when I had vowed to myself that I wouldn't get involved with another guy. _He_ was enough for one life time.

"It was because he never talked before right?" He said laughing. I nodded, going with it.

"Yeah, I thought he didn't have a voice." I said laughing. Ayden snickered as the teacher walked in and started class.

Bio was soon over and then I knew I had to go to gym. I couldn't skip again. I bid my farewells to Ayden and then walked to the locker room to change. I was the last one in there to change, or so I thought.

"I know right!" Someone said loudly on the other side of the lockers. I stilled my movements. It was Jessica.

"I want that Zach boy so bad!" Said Lauren. "Too bad he's gay. I'll just have to settle for Ayden, he's not that bad." She said. "Did you see him making eyes at me in lunch today?" I rolled my eyes. Lauren was seriously delusional; Ayden had sat with his back to the table she was sitting at today.

"As long as I get Trent." Said Jess giggling. I stiffened again. I shook my head after a couple minutes and finished dressing and walked out of the locker room. Why did I care if she wanted him, it wasn't any on my business.

I walked over to the bleachers and looked around the gym and was surprised at what I saw, Trent. I forgot this was a senior/junior mixed class. He saw me looking and smiled with his sexy lips. His smile was cute and slightly crooked. Like_ his_ but better somehow. Whoa what is wrong with me? I started panicking when he started making his way toward me. But he was intercepted half way to me. I frowned, Lauren and Jess. They flocked to either side of him, each lacing their arms through his. I could hear them from here.

"So Trent! Do you have a girl friend back in New York?" Said Lauren.

"If you do she is one lucky girl." Said Jess batting he eye lashes.

"Um no. I don't." He said uncomfortably. I couldn't help but laugh a little at him. He shot me a pleading look, one that said come help me. I sighed and got up and started making my way towards them. He smiled at little at me. Unfortunately Jess took that as encouragement.

"So would you like to go out with me Friday? I could make it worth your while." She said pressing closer to him. He pulled away slightly but was blocked by Lauren. I sped up and got to them sooner.

"Actually he's busy." I said. Lauren and Jess's heads whipped around to look at me. Trent gave me a relieved look. The girl's glared at me.

"What would you know Swan?" Said Lauren bitingly. I laughed.

"Well I know a lot Lauren. One thing I know is that Trent and I have made plans for Friday." I said quickly grabbing his hand and pulling him away from the two hookers. They gasped. As we walked away back to the bleachers he laced his fingers with mine as he glanced back at the two.

"Don't look now but their mouths are touching the ground. They better watch out some bug could fly in." He said laughing. I shook my head and let go of his hand when we got to the bleachers. I sat down and patted the spot beside me in indication that he should sit too. He did.

"Thanks for saving me Bella." He said smiling.

"You're welcome." I said looking into his eyes. They captured me again, they were so gorgeous. After a couple minutes he spoke up.

"You know now that you told them we have plans you have to hang with me on Friday." He said.

"Oh really?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

"Yeah. Come over to my house. Get to know me and the fam better. Meet our parents. You know you're the only real friend we have all made here so far." He said leaning in and talking to me quietly. Seeing as Coach Clapp had just started going over the rules of badminton. I considered Trent's offer for a second.

"Alright, I guess I can do that." I said loftily, acting like he would be so lucky. He stifled a laugh with his hand. I didn't know what came over me. I don't usually act like this. But I didn't care. All I knew was Trent was having an effect on me.

We talked for the rest of the period, Coach Clapp only finishing his speech about how to play badminton about a minute before the period was over. I walked into the locker room to get changed again. As I was pulling on my shoes Lauren and Jess came over to me.

"Bella, I thought you said you didn't know anything about the Sterling McCaffrey's!" Said Lauren.

"And yet you have a date with Trent on Friday!" Said Jess. I rolled my eyes and stood up from the bench I had been sitting on. I pulled my back pack onto my back and crossed my arms.

"That was this morning. And it's not a date. I'm going to be hanging out with all of them, and I'm meeting their parent's. There my friends." I said. And with that I pushed through them, ignoring their looks of fury and jealousy and walked out of the locker room. I was a little surprised when I saw Trent leaning up against the opposite wall waiting for me.

"Hey there stranger." He said. I laughed.

"Yeah long time no see." I said. He laughed too. We started walking out to the parking lot where we met his family. They were all waiting around their car waiting for Trent. When we walked up together Zach raised an eyebrow at me. I guess we were standing kind of close. I shrugged at him. He made a face at me as Trent started telling everyone what happened in gym. When he finished Zach started bouncing up and down excitedly.

"So this means you're coming over Friday!?" He said hugging me.

"Yeah Zachy it does." I said. He smiled at the nickname.

"Ooooo let's have a sleep over!" He said. I laughed.

"I don't think my dad will be cool with me having a sleep over with a guy." I said. He frowned and stopped bouncing.

"But I'm gay!" He said pouting. I laughed.

"Just tell him you're sleeping over with me and Sage. And then stay with Zach." Said Brenna smiling.

"Good idea!" Said Zach getting happy again. I laughed.

"We'll see." I said. He sighed but nodded.

"Alright all, let's get going!" Said Sage. "By Bella." She said. She gave me a hug and then climbed into the driver's seat.

"By Belly!" Said Zach, hugging me tight and picking me up off the ground. I laughed as he put me down and climbed into the back behind Sage. Brenna hugged me too and climbed in beside Zach, who immediately engaged her in conversation.

"By Bella, see you tomorrow." Said Ayden smiling at me and giving me a quick hug. I hugged him back and nodded, he climbed into the last seat in the back. The last left was Trent. He had his hands jammed into his pockets and he was looking down as he walked up to me.

"See you tomorrow Bella." He said looking up at me.

"Yeah." I said gazing into his beautiful eyes. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and held his arms out to me. I fell into them all too willingly. He placed his chin on top of my head and held me close before letting me go and smiling. As he pulled away his hand held mine, letting go as he turned away to get in the front passenger seat of the car. I smiled and started to back away. As I turned away I caught a glimpse of Ayden in the back. He didn't look happy. As they pulled away I could see him saying something in what looked an angry way. I laughed as Trent rolled his eyes.

I walked toward my truck, floating on cloud nine. I sighed as I got in and started her up. I told myself a million times that I had had enough of boys. But Trent…Trent was different. He made me change my mind, and after only one day of knowing him. I was definitely developing a crush. I sighed happily as I pulled out of the school parking lot and drove home.


	4. Chapter 4

**I got a request to do a chapter in Ayden's point of view. And I thought hey why not? So this starts when the Sterling McCaffrey's are waiting for Trent after school by the car.**

* * *

We were all standing around waiting for Trent. He was running late. He was usually the first one to the car, back in New York and here. He always said he could never stand being school a minute longer then he had to be.

"What is keeping him?" Said Brenna, Trent's biological little sister. Zach shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe he got caught up?" he said.

"Yeah maybe he's talking to a teacher?" Said Sage. I rolled my eyes. Who cares what's taking him? I just want to get home. While they were all speculating I let my mind and my eyes wander. My thoughts kept returning to Bella. She was so perfect, I was so glad she had forgiven me for being such a bitch. I smiled as I remembered her taunting me at lunch. But my smile dropped as I saw Trent heading over our way, but he wasn't alone. Bella was with him. What were they doing together? He better not be making a move on her. I told him last night that I had a thing for her.

I watched, as did everyone else, as they got closer and closer to us. When they stopped in front of us they were standing awfully close to one another. I watched as Zach and Bella seemed to be having a silent conversation with their expressions. I listened as Trent launched into a story about what happened in gym today. So that's why they were together? They had their last class together. I internally smiled. Bella was such a good friend to save Trent like that. It made me like her even more. The angry feeling I had felt when I first saw them walking toward us was dissipating. I tuned back into the conversation in time to hear Zach getting excited.

"So this means you're coming over Friday!?" He said hugging Bella.

"Yeah Zachy it does." She said. He smiled at the nickname.

"Ooooo let's have a sleep over!" He said. Bella laughed at him. Her laugh was so beautiful she should do it more often rather then being quiet all the time.

"I don't think my dad will be cool with me having a sleep over with a guy." She said. He frowned and stopped bouncing.

"But I'm gay!" He said pouting. She laughed again.

"Just tell him you're sleeping over with me and Sage. And then stay with Zach." Said Brenna smiling.

"Good idea!" Said Zach getting happy again.

"We'll see." She said. He sighed but nodded.

"Alright all, let's get going!" Said Sage. "By Bella." She said. She gave Bella a hug and then climbed into the driver's seat.

"By Belly!" Said Zach, hugging her tight and picking her up off the ground. Shelaughed as he put her down and climbed into the back behind Sage. Brenna hugged Bella too and climbed in beside Zach, who immediately engaged her in conversation. I walked up to Bella next.

"By Bella, see you tomorrow." I said smiling at her and giving her a quick hug. She hugged me back and nodded to me. I smiled as I pulled away from her and climbed into the last open seat in the back on the other side of Brenna. I closed the door and looked out the window as Trent walked up to Bella with his hands jammed into his pockets. He was looking down at the ground. When he reached her he said something as he looked up at her. She said something back. They were standing really close again. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck start to stand up just like an angry cats fur stands on end.

He pulled his hands out of his pockets and held his arms out to her, offering her a hug. I watched, starting to get angry again, as she all too willingly fell into his out stretched arms and hugged him tightly. He placed his chin on top of her head as he held her close.

"Awww to cute." Said Sage, who smiling in the front seat.

"Shut up Sage." I said quietly, not taking my eyes off of Bella and Trent. I watched closely as they pulled away from each other. His hand traveled down her arm, slowly entwining his fingers with hers, holding her hand. He let go of her hand as he started to turn away and got into the front passenger seat of the car. I watched Bella as she started to back away from the car smiling. I was pissed! I turned my angry gaze away from her to the back of Trent's head as we started to drive away.

"What the hell was that!?" I said angrily. I saw Trent roll his eyes as he looked at me in the rear view mirror. He held my gaze for a couple seconds before shifting it to look out his window.

"A hug." He said in a matter of fact tone of voice. Brenna and Zach giggled like little school children beside me. I threw them an angry look before turning my attention back to Trent.

"Dude seriously though!?" I said.

"Seriously what Ayden? I'm a little confused as to why you're getting upset with me." He said flatly. I groaned.

"You know exactly why I'm upset with you!" I said loudly.

"Ayden calm down." Said Sage. I knew she didn't like loud noises while she was driving, it made her nervous. So I did my best to calm myself.

"Listen Ayden, Bella is my friend. Get over it." Said Trent. I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yeah but you want to be more than friends." I mumbled. I hadn't meant for him to hear me but he did.

"Maybe, maybe not. So what if I do?" He asked turning to look over his shoulder at me. I made a face at him.

"Because you know full well I have a thing for Bella!" I said accusingly at him. He laughed at me, which just made me even more angry.

"You're jealous aren't you!? Well you know what? Get over it Ayden. Just because she likes me better," But I didn't let him finish.

"Ha! Wanna bet? In your dreams Trent, in your dreams." I said smugly crossing my arms over my chest. Trent turned back to face the front as we pulled up in front of our house.

"You know what Ayden? You're on! Bella does like me more and you'll see it eventually." He said climbing out of the car and walking into the house. The other followed him quickly while I took my time.

We'll see Trent, we'll see.

I climbed out of the car and made my way into the house. I climbed the stairs to the first landing and went into my room. I could hear my siblings greeting my mom. My step dad must not be home yet, he was a doctor. The hospital had an opening after their head doctor left. Apparently he got a better job offering in LA. I think they said his name was Doctor Cullen.

Anyway my dad took his job and now we're here. I can't stand it. I miss New York so much, Forks is like another universe. Let alone another town in another state.

I flopped on my bed and stuck my ear buds in, turning on my I pod, ignoring the home work I should have started working on. I laid there for hours just listening to my music and thinking about Bella, Trent, and myself. She wouldn't pick Trent over me. Would she?


	5. Chapter 5

Friday. I had been looking forward to today. Today was the day I was to go over to the Sterling McCaffrey's. All day yesterday Zach had pestered me until I agreed to sleep over. So last night I had lied to Charlie and said I was staying with Sage and Brenna. After I lied to him I ran up to my room to think. Brenna and Sage were nice, and we were friends, but Zach was becoming my best friend. He was like Al… don't think about her.

I sighed as I pulled on my clothes for the day. I pulled on a long sleeved black thermal shirt, black skinny jeans, and black converse. I was in a sort of black and miserable mood this morning. I guess I was channeling Ayden's fashion sense today. I sighed as I walked into the bathroom. I still hadn't cleaned up the glass completely from when I broke the mirror. I looked down at my knuckles. They were badly bruised and cut. The others hadn't noticed my hands the day I hurt them (Wednesday) but they did notice yesterday for some reason. I thought back to when Zach made a big fuss about it at lunch.

"_BELLA! What is wrong with your hands?" He said noticing my bandaged knuckles. I shrugged and pulled them under the table. Trent reached for my hands and pulled them above the table. Today when I had gotten to the table Zach was sitting in my normal seat beside Ayden so I sat beside him and Trent instead. _

_Trent held my hands tenderly as he unwrapped the bandages. I glanced up at the uneasy looks that were starting to develop on my friends faces as the wrappings went from kind of dirty from a day's wear and tear to the bloody wrappings underneath. Trent carefully peeled the bandages off revealing my hands. They all looked worried. He carefully ran his fingers over my knuckles, coming across a piece of glass I had missed. He started working on pulling it out as I glanced around the table. I saw Ayden shooting Trent and, surprisingly, Zach dirty looks. Zach rolled his eyes at him before turning his attention back to me and Trent. I looked back at my hands in time to see Trent getting the sliver out of my hand. He held it up to me with a raised eye brow._

"_Bella? What happened?" He asked, placing the glass on the table in front of me. I shrugged. Luckily at that point the bell rang. I sprang up out of my chair, and ran to my next class. The bell gods have been incredibly merciful lately. For the rest of the day I avoided the others not giving them the chance to ask again._

I thought about all this as I drove quietly to school. I pulled into the car park and pulled into a spot as far away as I could from the Sterling McCaffrey's. I caught them looking at me in question. Zach looked kind of hurt. But as I got out of my truck his expression changed to sort of worried. I gave him a questioning look. He took this as an invite to come over to me. Luckily no one else did.

"Hey Bella, are you okay? You look really tired." I sighed.

"I'm fine. I just didn't sleep well." I said crossing my arms over my chest and looking down at my feet. We were silent for a couple of minutes. I leaned back against my truck as he spoke again.

"Bella if there were something wrong you would tell me right? You're like my best friend." He said smiling at me pulling my chin up to make me look at him. With any other guy that could be considered a romantic gesture, but with Zach it was just another endearing friendly factor to our relationship, especially since he's gay. I could feel the tears start to well in my eyes. I watched as his smiled fell and his expression became stricken by worry.

"Bella?" He asked

"Zach, I'll let you know in due time okay?" I asked pushing myself off the truck and pulling him into a hug. My arms wound tightly around his waist as a few tears slipped out. He quickly wrapped his arms around my shoulders and held me tight to his chest.

"Tonight Bella? When we're not out in the open? You are staying with me tonight right?" He asked. I nodded into his chest. He laughed a little. "Alright love. Shall we get to class?" He asked pulling away from me slightly with an unsure look on his face. I nodded. He smiled and pulled me along, keeping one arm wrapped around my shoulders as I kept one arm wrapped around his waist. His sibling's eyes were on the both of us as we walked by. Sage and Brenna waved to me and I waved back. Ayden and Trent looked like they wanted to kill each other. I turned to Zach for an explanation as we entered to the building. He laughed.

"Ayden's jealous." He said.

"Why?" I asked confused.

"Well he's jealous for a couple reasons. First he's upset about yesterday at lunch when I took your spot and thus Trent was the one to unwrap your hands. Another would be the budding friendship you have with Trent. It's so easy between you and Trent. And it's hard for you and Ayden because he's bitchy." He said laughing. I laughed too. "Oh and he's sort of jealous of me!" He said smiling.

"Why!? It's not like you and I are gonna do anything you're my best friend and your gay! Besides what does he care? It's not like we're going out. What does he have a crush or something?" I said laughing. Zach stopped and I stopped too, looking at him. He was smiling a goofy sort of smile. "Oh no way!" I said. I leaned up against the wall outside my English class. Zach nodded his head. "Unbelievable." I sighed out.

"Oh Bella! Get used to it. Ayden's going to try to court you." He said laughing. I laughed too.

"Court Zach, really?" I said picking on his use of vocabulary. He shrugged, glanced at his watch and sighed.

"Alright kid I'll talk to you later, I have to go to the torture place they call Spanish." He said leaning forward and hugging me. I sighed but nodded, hugging him back.

"By Zachy!" I called after him. He laughed as he rounded the corner. I stifled a smile as I walked into the classroom. My new friends were ruining my reputation for being the loner misery chick. I shook my head as I sat down in my usual seat beside Mike Newton. He turned to me and just stared not saying anything. After a couple of minutes of this I started becoming a little uncomfortable. I turned to him and glared.

"If you have something to say Mike spit it out now." I said.

"Bella you didn't listen to me. I told you! You shouldn't hang with those people. Remember what happened last time? The last family left you!" He said. I just stared at him.

"Shut up Mike." I said turning away from him. He sighed and crossed his arms on his desk.

"Are you dating that Zach guy?" He asked. I actually laughed a little.

"Oh come one Mike you listen to the school gossip. What have people been saying about Zach?" I said turning to him and raising my eye brow.

"That he's gay, but he can't be he-"But he stopped when he saw the smile on my face.

"For once the gossip mill has it right." I mumbled, smirking at him. He looked at me with his mouth hanging open before shutting it and looking slyly at me.

"What about Ayden?" He asked looking as if he had made a really smart deduction. I laughed again and shook my head.

"Really?" He said confused scratching his head. "What about Trent?" He said as the teacher came in. This was my excuse for not answering his question. I pretended to pay attention as the teacher began the lesson. And Mike shot me furtive looks. My mind wondered to Trent. I couldn't tell Mike about how I felt about Trent. He would just try to dissuade me from my crush. I knew I shouldn't like him. I had tried to keep telling myself that _he _was enough for one life time but it didn't work. I knew this was wrong, but at this point I didn't care.

I jumped as the bell rang. Was English really over already? I walked to my trig class and sat down, ignoring Jess who was trying to engage me in conversation about the Sterling McCaffrey's. This became increasingly harder when I went to Spanish and Lauren started helping Jess nag me. But when Spanish was over I managed to shake them off. I practically ran to the lunch room and dropped into the seat I had sat in yesterday. Zach and Trent were already there. I saw Ayden, Sage, and Brenna in the lunch line still.

"Why are you breathing so hard, were you running?" Said Zach.

"Yeah, away from Lauren and Jess. They were nagging me about you guys again." He nodded his head and turned back to his phone.

"Who you texting?" I said.

"Astrid. She'll be arriving tomorrow!" He said excitedly. I nodded and turned to look at Trent. He was fiddling with a black and purple guitar pick, his hands resting on top of the table, his arms stretched out slightly in front of him.

"You play guitar?" I asked quietly. He nodded, not looking up at me. I raised my eye brow. "You okay?" I asked concerned for my friend. He looked up at me. He dropped the pick on the table and grabbed my hands, examining my knuckles.

"You want to tell me what this is about." He said rubbing his thumb over my bruises and cuts. I sighed. I looked around the table, when did the others get here? Ayden looked mad. I buried a laugh that tried to come out. I sighed. Everybody seemed to be waiting for my answer. I pulled my hands away from Trent and place them in my lap under the table, to which Ayden looked slightly pleased and Trent looked a little upset. I looked Trent in the eyes.

"I punched my mirror. I was angry and couldn't help myself." I said stoically. He nodded slowly.

"I can understand that." He said letting the subject drop. I was thankful for that. He seemed to understand that I didn't really want to talk about what made me angry and was satisfied with the information I had given him, but not Ayden.

"What were you made about Bella?" He said leaning forward, arms on the table. He threw a smirk at Trent. Probably thinking he was acting all concerned and good friend like. He probably thought Trent dropping the subject was him being a bad neglectful friend. Luckily Zach chimed in to squash that notion.

"Oh back off Ayden, she doesn't have to tell us why she did it point is we now know how her hands got that way. Besides isn't her saying she was angry enough explanation?" He said giving Ayden's arm a good shove. Brenna and Sage snickered at Ayden. He rolled his eyes and went back to eating.

"So Bella. Are you sleeping over tonight?" Said Sage.

"Yeah I am. I did what you told me to do and told Charlie I was staying with you and Brenna." I said smiling. Both Trent and Ayden perked up at this news. I chose to ignore them both. They were both acting funny today. Finally the bell rang and I slowly got up and made my way to bio, dreading talking to Ayden now that I knew he had a thing for me.


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm dedicating this chapter to the last three people who reviewed. new-chance-new-life-karey, Wannabe Imprintee, and Zoey Redbird. I noticed you guys review a lot and read a lot of my stories! Thankyou! I would also like to say I have started my own website, where I will start posting my fanfics as well as on here. But on my website (once I get around to updating it) I will be posting some of my other fanfic projects that I have not posted here, and probably won't. So keep checking my site. .com/**

* * *

I sighed as I walked into bio to see Ayden already waiting for me. He motioned me over, and of course I went, I mean come one that's where my seat is. No one was really in the room yet, so I guess Ayden thought we could talk freely.

"Bella." He said taking my hands and examining them. At his touch I sort of became…annoyed. "Bella why did you do this?" He said sadly, he ran his fingers over my knuckles. I didn't like it. It didn't feel as good as when Trent did it. I sighed. I knew Ayden was just concerned. So I forced my annoyance down and responded to him.

"Ayden just relax. It's like I said at lunch I was angry and I lost my temper and took it out on my mirror. Don't worry Ayden. I guess I just have to do some anger management classes." I said trying to make it sound like a joke. He laughed as I did and released my hands.

"Okay Bella." We were quiet for a couple of minutes until he turned back to me with a questioning look. "Are you really going to stay with Zach tonight?" He asked. I laughed at his expression and tone of voice. He said it like he couldn't believe it.

"Yeah Ayden I am. He's my best friend. And it's not like we're going to do anything like, ya know. I mean come on he's gay. But even if he wasn't, gay I mean, I don't think I would get involved like that with Zach. He's not my type." At this Ayden perked up.

"What is your type?" He said. Way to be subtle dude. Luckily I didn't have to answer that question. Mr. Banner came in and started the lesson. The entire period Ayden would throw me furtive looks. I knew he wanted me to say. 'You're my type Ayden.' But I couldn't do it. Ayden is a really good friend material. He's nice and caring and can be loyal. But he is not good boy friend material. No one wants to deal with a kid who so bitchy and bi polar sometimes it's ridiculous. Dating him would be a head ache and a half. I'd be afraid to say something to him for fear of starting an argument and ruining our relationship. No it's better to be friends. This way if we fight we don't have to make up right away for the sake of our love life together, if that makes any sense at all. It's easier to be friends with him.

When the bell rang I got up and speed walked to gym, leaving Ayden in the dust. When I got to the gym I saw everyone sitting on the bleachers. I looked around for Trent. When I saw him I almost laughed out loud (lol!) Jessica and Lauren had his back up against a wall, literally. They had cornered him against the wall next to the bleachers. When he saw me he gave me a pleading look that said 'help me'. I shook my head and laughed. He shot me a glare. He looked at Jessica and then at Lauren. Then he did something that shocked the hell out of me. He wrapped one arm around each girl's shoulders and started talking to them, like it was nothing! Like he actually liked them or something. I couldn't believe it. If he was trying to make me jealous it was working. I thought Trent and I were moving toward being more than friends, but if that's the way it's going to be then we don't even need to be friends. When he looked over at me next his smile fell. He must have noticed the broken look on my face. I glared at him and then flicked him off. He looked shocked. He couldn't believe I had actually flicked him off. He broke away from the skank squad and walked over to me, his hands jammed into his pockets like always. He slouched a little so he was sort of on my level; he was so much taller than me.

"Bella, that wasn't very nice." He said. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked away. I was trying not to cry. "Bella? I'm sorry I didn't mean anything by it. You know I don't like them like that. I barely like them at all." He said quietly, placing his hands on my shoulders. I pulled away from him, feeling a little dejected. He didn't mean anything by it? I didn't want to hear that. I walked away from him and sat down on the bleachers. He was going to follow me but coach clap called the class to order and yelled at him to go sit down. He could have come and sit by me, to try and get me to talk. But he didn't. He actually sat with Lauren and Jess. I felt like my heart had been stomped on. I really thought we had been progressing to being more than friends. That's what I get for opening up to a boy. I should really have listened to myself when I said _he_ was enough for a life time.

Coach Clapp told us that we were having a free period today because he had a bunch of paper work for sports to fill out. Everyone got really excited. They all burst into conversation when he went into his office. I pulled out my phone and texted Zach.

_Zach can you please get me out of here, you're stupid brother is being a jerk._

**I didn't think Ayden was in your class Bells.**

_He's not. It's Trent. :(_

**Oh god. I'm on my way.**

I snapped my phone shut when a shadow fell over me. I looked up to see Trent. I watched as he sat down beside me.

"Bella listen." But he didn't get the chance to finish. Zach must have run here.

"Bella!" He said as he came up to me. He grabbed my bag and then my hand and pulled me away from Trent. "Come on. We're skipping out." He said as he pulled me out of the gym. We walked hand in hand out to the car park and up to my truck.

"Let's go to my house and get my stuff for tonight and then go to your house." I said. He nodded and climbed into the passenger seat. When we were half way there his phone rang. He picked up.

"Hello? Oh hey Trent." I stiffened up. Forget that kid. "No she can't come to the phone right now; she's driving, and talking on the phone while driving is dangerous." I had to suppress a laugh. Zach could be kind of funny without meaning to be. "Trent, tell her that when you see her okay? I mean I get that you thought you and her were just joking with one another." He paused and listened. "I understand that you were just being silly when she wouldn't come help you out with the skank squad." He said. Why was Zach repeating everything Trent said? "I know Trent. I know you thought it was harmless. I get that you didn't think she would react that way and you're sorry." We pulled up to the house and I parked. I saw Zach glance at me and smile. I sighed and held my hand out for the phone. He smirked and handed it to me.

"Trent?" I said.

"Hey Bella. I'm sorry. You left before I could say that." He sounded sad. "I didn't think you would react like that. I seriously thought we were just funning around." I sighed. Why did I have to over react?

"It's okay. I over reacted Trent." He laughed and then his laugh turned into a cough like always. I rolled my eyes. "Dude lay off the cigs." I said laughing.

"I'm trying to quit." He said seriously.

"I was joking Trent." I waited to hear him say he was joking too, but he didn't. Just then Zach snatched the phone out of my hands.

"Alrighty Trent now that that's out of the way we have to go. Tata!" He said and snapped the phone shut.

"Zach!" I said.

"What?" He said innocently I rolled my eyes and got out of the truck.

"Trent smokes?" I asked him. He nodded. I didn't know that, I'll have to ask him about it later.

Zach followed me to the front door where I let us in. He followed me to my room and watched as I packed a bag. He observed my room quietly. And then followed me back out to the truck. He buckled himself in quietly and then waited for me to start driving. But I just stared at him.

"What is with you?" I asked. He looked at me funny.

"Bella do you like Trent?" He asked. Was I that obvious? I guess I was. I guess getting mad gave me away. I ignored his question and started driving. "You do don't you!?" He squealed. I rolled my eyes.

"Alright doofus, I need directions to your house!" I yelled over his giggling and squealing. He is such a girl. He laughed and told me how to get there. But after that he just kept babbling away about me and Trent. I ignored him. When we pulled up to his house he was still going strong. I again ignored him and surveyed the house. It reminded me of _them_. It was secluded and big and beautiful, but it wasn't the same house. Thank god I don't know what I would have done then.

"Bella are you listening to me?" Said Zach waving his hand in front of my face.

"No." I said as I got out of the car. I grabbed my bag and slammed the door shut. He led me up the front steps and into the quiet house. No one was home. I knew all the kids were still in school but where were his parents.

"My mom, Angela, is at the hospital with my step dad, Alex. He's the new head doctor and she's a nurse." He said. His step dad was the new head doctor. So he replaced Carlisle. Wait did I just think that name. I haven't been able to say any of their names let alone think them for a while. "Bella! Are you listening to me!? I said lets go up to my room." I jumped when he yelled my name.

"Sorry Zachy, lead the way." I followed him up to the second floor. All along the way he was pointing out things like where the bathroom was, whose room was whose, that sort of thing. Then he stopped outside a door.

"And this is my room. Ayden's room is across the hall." He said pointing to the black door across from his bright yellow one. Well that figures. When we went into his room he closed the door behind me and I flopped onto his bed. His room had yellow sun shiny walls and grass green and wood furnishings. His carpet was green and his bedding was green. His desk, bed, and dresser were a dark wood. I smiled.

"I kind of feel like I'm outside." I said referring to the décor.

"That was the whole point! I'm glad you got it. When Ayden saw it he just made a face and said all the brightness was killing his eyes. I said if he didn't hibernate so much in his sea of black he wouldn't have that issue." I laughed at that, it was true. All I ever saw that boy in was black. "But I like the outside. I love playing soccer. I can't wait for the spring season to start." He said bouncing excitedly on his bed. I smiled at him. He could be so sweet and genuine. I laid there and listened to him gush about soccer for a while when I realized something.

"Hey Zach?"

"Yeah?"

"You didn't point out Trent's room to me." He laughed and pointed to his ceiling. I looked up.

"Oh god you guys make him sleep on your ceiling!? How does he do that!?" I said being silly. He laughed and shook his head, and pointed to his ceiling again.

"Trent has the attic room Bella." I laughed and nodded. "Why do you care?" He asked slyly.

"No reason." I said turning my head defiantly away from him. He laughed at my attitude. All of a sudden we heard a loud bang from down stairs and the yells of the others as they came in from the outside, having gotten home from school, where we left them. Ha ha.

"Oh they're here!" Zach said bouncing off the bed and grabbing me. He tossed me over his shoulder and started running down to the first floor where everyone was in the living room.

"Zach stop don't!!!!!" I yelled as he laughed and ran into the living room. I could hear everyone laughing at me. He put me down gently and smiled innocently at me. I rolled my eyes as I tried to fix my hair.

"Hey Bella nice hair what were you and Zach doing up there?" Said Sage laughing. Haha very funny, we all know he's gay. But I decided to play along.

"Oh Zach and I were just having some fun." I said wrapping my arms around his neck and jumping up, wrapping my legs around his waist. I was kind of surprised when he caught me and started playing along. He held me up and held me tightly to him.

"Yeah Bella was amazing." He purred nuzzling my neck, I blushed and laughed. You would not believe the looks on Ayden's and Trent's faces. They couldn't believe it. Ayden looked like one of his worst nightmares had come true. Mean while Brenna and Sage were busy stuffing their knuckles in their mouths to keep from laughing. But then I broke. I started howling with laughter. At the same time Zach dropped my legs and hugged me as he started laughing too. Brenna fell out of her seat and started rolling around on the floor with tears in her eyes she was laughing that hard. Ayden still looked like someone had killed his puppy and Trent looked confused.

"You guys they were joking." Said Brenna. Trent started laughing then too. Ayden just rolled his eyes.

"I knew that." He mumbled. I decided to press his buttons some more. I knew he was jealous of Trent but it was a little ridiculous to be jealous of Zach.

"Or were we?" I said. I grabbed Zach by the belt loops and pulled him flush up against me as he grabbed my butt and kissed my neck. Everyone got quiet. And then Zach and I couldn't hold it in anymore. We let go of each other and fell on the floor clutching our sides, howling. Ayden got up and stormed off and Trent just stared at us. Brenna and Sage were laughing at us. Zach helped me off the floor as the phone started to ring.

"I'll get it." He said.

"You do that." I said and smacked his butt as he walked by. He wiggled it at me before literally skipping off to get the phone. I walked over to the couch and plopped down beside Trent. "How was the rest of gym?" I said casually. He raised and eye brow at me.

"You and Zach are weird." I laughed.

"I wanted to get a rise out of Ayden." He laughed too and slung his arm around my shoulders. When Zach came back into the room he had Ayden with him. He gasped and ran over to me.

"How could you Bella are you cheating on me!?" He said dramatically. I laughed as he grabbed me and flung me back over his shoulder and ran with me back upstairs. "If you guys need anything we'll be in my room!" I could hear the girls laughing as Zach slammed the door and dropped me on his bed. He lay down too and placed his head on my stomach.

"That was fun." I said.

"Yeah good times, good times." He sighed. Then we cracked up laughing again. Tonight was going to be fun.


	7. Chapter 7

**I got seven reviews. Wow. Maybe next time I can get ten? Hint hint.**

* * *

Zach and I stayed in his room for a couple of hours doing whatever we felt like. We decided we should get into our pajamas early. When he came out of the bathroom I had to remind myself really quickly that he was gay and my best friend. Why are all the cute ones either gay or taken? He was wearing a pair of red flannel pajama pants that were kind of baggy and slung low on his hips, with a black tank top that contrasted heavily with his pale white skin.

"Bathroom's all yours Bells." He said walking over and flopping on his bed. I nodded and went to change. When I came out I was in a pair of black shorts and a white sports bra. Zach whistled when I came out which made me laugh. I flopped onto the bed beside him as he clicked the TV on. We lay there quietly, not feeling the need to talk, as we watched an America's Next Top Model marathon. We did this for a couple of hours when I heard the door slam down stairs. "Oh! Mom and Alex must be home!" He said bouncing off the bed. "Come on Bella! My mom has been dying to meet my new best friend." I started to get off the bed, but I guess I was going to slow for his taste because he growled at me and flung me over his shoulder again.

"Keep doing this Zach, and I may never want to walk again. I'll just make you carry me everywhere!" I laughed. I could hear the others laughing at us as we came down the stairs.

"Zachary Ignatius put that poor girl down." I heard a melodic female voice say. Zach laughed and smacked my butt as he ran around the living room.

"Never! Bella is my prisoner." I laughed as he finally put me down. I turned my back on him and leaned into him. He wrapped his arms around me and leaned his chin on my shoulder.

"Mommy this is my new best friend Bella Swan. Bella this is my mom Angela. Oh and my step dad Alex." I waved to his mother, but almost did a double take when I saw Alex. He looked like a much older Trent.

"Hello Bella nice to meet you." Said Angela.

"Nice to meet you too. You have a beautiful home." I said looking around.

"Why thank you sweet heart." I hadn't noticed that it was only us and Zach's parents in the room with the girls sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Where are Trent and Ayden?" I asked.

"Trent's in his room dear and I believe Ayden went to get something out of his car." Said Angela. By this time Zach and I were curled up beside each other on one of the couches across from his parents. Zach shot me a sly look which I chose to ignore. I was not going to let him tease me in front of his parents. Just then Ayden came in. I noticed in my peripheral vision that he stopped and was looking at me as I talked to his mother about school and my life. I couldn't figure out why he was staring until I realized I was woefully under dressed. My short black shorts and white sports bra are the least amount of clothing he's ever seen me in.

"So who's hungry?" Said Alex getting up and clapping his hands together. We all said we were. "I'll go order some pizza, before Angela and I go out." He said. I gave him a confused look.

"Where are you guys going Mr. McCaffrey?" I asked. He laughed at the formality of my question.

"Bella call me Alex or dad if you want I don't care. Just drop the Mr. McCaffrey thing. It makes me feel old." He said with a smile.

"But pops you are old." Said a cool quiet voice. I turned to see Trent standing in the door way looking at his dad. Trent looked gorgeous. He was wearing a pair of black skinnies and a pair of warn socks and that was it. His muscles! Oh my god. And a six pack! You'd never know with the clothes he wears.

"Thanks Trent I really appreciate it son." Said Alex rolling his eyes at Trent. He turned back to me and smiled.

"Bella to answer your question Angela and I are going out of town for a day or two. We're going to a medical conference in Seattle." He said. I nodded.

"Well have fun." I said smiling sweetly at them. They smiled and nodded as they left the room. Alex went and ordered our pizza and then he and Angela loaded up the car and left. Once they were gone I stood up and stretched. I could feel eyes on me. I saw Trent eyeing me up as he leaned on the door frame. Everyone else wasn't paying attention so I walked up to him.

"See something you like?" I murmured. He chuckled.

"Just never thought you were one to run around dressed like that." He said smiling down at me. I laughed.

"Just keeping it sexy for my main squeeze Zach." I said laughing again. He laughed too.

"Squeeze?" He asked, raising his eye brow. I shrugged and skipped off to Zach and dive bomb landed on his lap.

"AH!" He screamed like a little girl. "Bella you scared me!" He said in a little kid voice. I laughed at him, while he pouted. I saw Sage looking at me funny.

"What Sage?" I asked calming down a bit. I had turned so my back was to Zach and he had his arms wrapped around my bare torso. It was so nice to be like this with a guy and not have anything expected to come from it. Thank god for gays.

"Bella I just noticed. You aren't really quiet anymore." She said. I looked down at my hands. I guess she was right. I had really opened up to them. Especially to Zach.

"Yeah I guess so." I said.

"Why were you quiet in the first place?" Said Brenna coming over and sitting beside me and Zach. I stiffened up a little. Zach sensing my discomfort whispered in my ear.

"You don't have to tell us Bells." He said. I saw Ayden glaring at us. How can he be jealous!? I mean come on its Zach! I sighed and nodded. I pulled myself away from him and stood up.

"I'm just gonna go to the bathroom." I said running up the stairs. I could hear them talking as I left. I decided I would use Zach's bathroom. I went in there and locked the door and looked in the mirror.

Why had I opened up to them? Why wasn't I so quiet anymore? It was kind of scary. I hadn't known them very long and yet I let myself get so close to them so fast.

When I came out of the bathroom I was not surprised to find Zach waiting for me. He patted the bed indicating he wanted me to sit down.

"Let's have a chat shall we?" He asked. Uh oh. I'm not sure I liked the sound of this. "Bella I would hope you would trust me enough to answer the questions I'm about to ask you honestly. I can understand that you don't want to spill your guts to everybody. But now it's just me." He said. I nodded. "They made a good point down stairs. You were so quiet before. What happened? Why do you talk now?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I think I'm comfortable enough now with you all." I said. He smiled.

"Well I'm glad to hear it." He said smiling. I knew what he was going to ask next when he picked up my hands and started examining my knuckles. "You had said you were angry when you punched the mirror, what had you so angry?" He asked. I sighed heavily and he raised his eyebrow. In order to tell him why I was so angry I would have to explain why I was so unhappy and tired all the time, which would mean I would have to tell him about my nightmares, which in turn would mean I would have to tell him about the Cullens. I sighed heavily. But decided I would tell him.

"Zach. I was angry because I wanted to be happy. And I feel like I can't ever be happy. I feel like all my happiness has been stolen away from me." I said without looking at him. I was met with silence. When I looked up at him he had a concerned look on his face.

"Why?" He asked simply. I wasn't sure I knew how to say it all. I froze up a bit when I heard the boards creak outside his door. "Relax it's probably just one of the boys going to their rooms." But we didn't realize that that statement was only partially true. It was Trent but he wasn't going to his room. Unbeknownst to us he was standing outside the door listening.

"Why do I think my happiness has been stolen?" I asked him going back to our conversation. He nodded. "Well it's because of two things really." I said. "My nightmares and the Cullen's." I said.

* * *

I climbed the stairs. Bella had run off after Brenna had asked her about her reasons for being so quiet when we first met her. After that Ayden stormed off somewhere to brood. I couldn't believe he was jealous of her and Zach and the way she let him touch her. They were extremely intimate with each other. But it wasn't like how Ayden was thinking. He was so stupid sometimes. Zach and Bella connected on a totally different than the rest of us. They ran on a wave length together none of us could actually ever understand. I got that and decided there was no reason to be jealous or worried about their relationship. But Ayden was. Hs shouldn't be though; who he should be worried about is me. I'm going to win Bella over.

As I reached the second floor landing I could hear Bella's and Zach's faint voices floating out under the cracks of his closed door.

"Zach. I was angry because I wanted to be happy. And I feel like I can't ever be happy. I feel like all my happiness has been stolen away from me." I heard Bella saying. When I got closer to his room I heard Zach ask why. As I started to pass his door a floor board squeaked and I froze momentarily. I relaxed when I heard Zach speak.

"Relax it's probably just one of the boys going to their rooms." I moved from in front of his door and sat down on the second to last step that was beside his door that led up to my attic room.

"Why do I think my happiness has been stolen?" She asked him going back to their conversation. There was a pause, he must have nodded. "Well it's because of two things really." She said. "My nightmares and the Cullen's." She has nightmares? Who are the Cullen's?

"Well I don't know who the Cullen's are so let's start with the nightmares." Said Zach. I nodded in agreement even though they couldn't see me. Bella sighed unhappily.

"In order for me to tell you about the nightmare's I've been having I have to tell you about the Cullen's first because it is because of them I am having these nightmares." She said. I raised my eye brows. What?

"Before you moved here there was a family living here. When I moved here I noticed them right away. The Cullen's never spoke to anyone. They didn't interact. Doctor Cullen was the head doctor at the hospital before Alex. And his wife Esme was a decorator. They adopted three siblings and then two twins. The three were Emmet, Alice, and Edward. The twins were Jasper and Rosalie. They were all dating. Emmett and Rose, Alice and Jasper. And Edward was alone. Well that is until I came along." I froze, my heart was in my throat, I couldn't listen to this. But before I could run up to my attic room she started speaking again.

"We fell in love." She said quietly. Oh my god. No. Bella loved someone else. I didn't have a chance.

"I sense a but coming." Said Zach. Bella sighed.

"But one day he left they all did." She said.

"I don't understand." Said Zach. Bella sighed again.

"His dad got offered a better job somewhere else, somewhere really far away. I'm not really sure where Edward didn't say."

"Okay but…" Zach started.

"He took me into the woods and told me he was leaving. I wanted to go with him and was ready to leave everything behind. But he told me…he told me he didn't want me…that he never loved me…that I was a distraction…and that he was going to leave and it would be like he never existed and that I should move on to someone else and be happy." She said. I could hear her crying now. I could hear someone shifting their weight. Hopefully Zach was hugging her now. I know I would be if I were in there. If I ever met this Edward guy he would be dead. They were silent for a couple minutes while Bella tried to get her breathing and her crying under control.

"So what about the nightmare's?" Said Zach.

"They're about him leaving me. I'm always in the forest, running after him but he is nowhere and I keep hearing those things he said to me. I always wake up screaming and shaking. Charlie, my dad, used to come up to me. But now he's so used to it he just sleeps right through it. I don't mind though I don't want him to come up to me anymore. Anyway…after I wake up from these nightmares I can never get back to sleep. So I spend half of my night studying or doing homework or reading." She said. "Which is why my grades are the best they have ever been." I rolled my eyes at that comment. What a way to become the top of the class.

"Oh Bella. Is this why you're always so tired and quiet and why no one ever talks to you besides us?" Zach asked. She must have nodded.

"Oh Bella! I'm so sorry all that happened to you. But look at it this way. You have me and the rest now. We'll make you better." He said.

"You know you really remind me of Alice. She was my best friend." She said.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" He asked.

"I like to think it is a good thing. But you are a lot better than her because I know if you were to ever leave me you would say good bye first." Bella said sadly.

"They didn't even say good bye?" He asked quietly.

"No. They just let him take me into the woods to tell me. You know he left me there. And I got lost after he left. I ran around the woods trying to find him and then finally collapsed when it started to rain. The search party my dad sent didn't find me for hours. I was really sick after that." She said. I stifled a growl at this. How could he just leave her there?

"I'm sorry Bella." Said Zach.

"Me too." She said.

"GUYS PIZZA!" Yelled Brenna with her big mouth. I hadn't even heard anyone at the door. I quickly stood up and ran down stairs so Bella and Zach wouldn't catch me eaves dropping. Poor Bella. I'll make you better.

"Hey Trent?" Said Brenna coming over to me where I had flooped down on the couch in the living room.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Is she alright?" She asked. Although Brenna was a couple years younger than me we ran on the same wave length like we were twins or something. She knew I had been listening in to Zach's and Bella's conversation.

"I don't know Bren I don't know." I said as she sat down beside me and cuddled into me side.

"We'll fix her Trent don't worry." She said. I nodded.

"I know." But inside I was thinking, not we. _I'll_ fix her.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up with the sun shining in my eyes. Last night had been fun. After telling Zach everything the pizza came and we raced each other down the stairs. The entire night I could feel two pairs of eyes on me. One pair was Trent. He wasn't saying much or joining in but every time I looked over at him he would give me a small smile. The other pair was Ayden. He tried to be like Trent, watching me and smiling when I looked at him. But it just didn't give off the same affect.

I rolled over and looked at Zach's sleeping form. He looked so peaceful, nothing compared to his ball of energy attitude he had when he was awake. I sat up as quietly and carefully as I could so as to not disturb Zach. I used the bathroom and then went down stairs. As I walked into the kitchen I was pulling my hair up into a messy bun. I was surprised to see someone already sitting at the table sipping some coffee.

"You're up early." I said walking over to the coffee pot and getting myself a cup full. Trent looked up from his cup and smiled. He had been staring at it for some reason. I watched him quietly as he went back to staring at his cup. I walked over and sat across from him. "What's wrong with you?" I asked. He raised his eye brow.

"I'm not much of a morning person; I'm waiting for the caffeine to set in." He said smiling. I snorted.

"It's not that early." I said. He looked at me weird.

"Bella its 7 30. Nobody else is up, they won't all wake up until at least 10 00 maybe later." He said taking a sip of his coffee.

"So why are you up then?" I asked him. He shrugged. "I mean you said you weren't a morning person." I said pushing a little. He looked up at me with tired eyes. It's then I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the extra paleness to his skin. I surveyed his clothes as he stood up from the table to get more coffee. They weren't rumpled with sleep at all. His grey pull over and blue sleep pants were only lined in certain places like he had been sitting in the same position for a while. Then it dawned on me.

"Did you go to sleep at all?" I asked him worriedly. He leaned up against the counter surveying me for a second and then shook his head no. I put my cup down and got up and walked over to him. "Why not?" I asked. He sighed and looked down at his cup, he was tapping the ring he wore on his pointer finger on his cup. He looked up at me suddenly with an unsure look.

"Don't get mad okay?" He asked. I looked at him suspiciously.

"What did you do?" I asked him. He sighed.

"I listened to you and Zach talking yesterday. And before you say anything I'm really sorry for doing it. I'm also sorry for the way that guy treated you Bella. I would never do that to you. And if he ever came near you again I would probably kill him." He said. He was looking at his cup again. I smiled.

"It's okay Trent. I should have told you all but I just couldn't bring myself to do it." I said walking over to the table and picking up my cup to get a refill. "Besides, I know you would never do that to me." I said, hip checking him out of the way so I could get to the coffee. He laughed which turned into a chest wracking cough. I sighed.

"So is that why you didn't sleep at all?" I asked. He hopped up onto the counter as I stood beside him.

"That's part of it." He said drinking deeply.

"What's the other part?" I asked. He looked at me over the rim of his mug.

"Well I was thinking about you and well…I don't sleep well." He said shrugging. I gave him a look that said elaborate. He smiled. "Bella there's a lot you don't know about me okay?" He said. I nodded.

"Well you could tell me your dirty little secrets since you know mine." I said cheekily. He laughed and hopped off the counter. He moved towards the back door. Sitting there on the counter was a set of keys a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He grabbed the cigarettes and the lighter and turned to me.

"Nothing like caffeine and nicotine in the morning to wake a dude up. Come on you." He said gesturing for me to follow him. I followed him out to the back deck. We sat at the patio table under the umbrella. The seats were large with cushy padding. I curled up in one and he sat across from me in front of an ash tray. It was full which meant he came out here a lot. He pulled out a cigarette and placed it between his lips. He flipped open his lighter and lit it pulling it up to the cigarette; he covered it with his hand so the slight wind wouldn't put it out. When it was lit he flipped the light shut and placed it on the table, his other hand taking the cigarette from his mouth as he blew out the smoke. "Okay, what do you want to know?" He asked me, smiling slightly. I shrugged.

"Everything." I said.

"Everything?" He asked laughing. "Okay then." He leaned forward and flicked his ashes into the tray before leaning back and talking again. "Well I guess I'll start when Dad brought Angela home. Up until that point I guess I had been okay. My mom died in child birth with Brenna, Dad says she was a really bad bleeder. They almost lost her when I was born, she was lucky then, I suppose god thought she gambled too much when she got pregnant a second time. I was two when she died so I don't remember her all that much, if at all. That's why I say I was okay. I thought we were doing fine just the three of us. Dad would work at the hospital. I would take care of Brenna and do things like make dinner occasionally or clean to make it easier on my dad. I didn't know he had been dating until he brought Angela home to meet us. I think I was about ten years old then, Brenna had just turned eight." He said stubbing out his cigarette in the ash tray it had burned down all the way. He paused to light another cigarette, breathing deeply as he took his first puff. He breathed the smoke out through his nose before talking again.

"I got really upset when he said they were dating. Brenna was excited. She never knew mom, so getting someone who could be a mother for her was exciting seeing as she lived in a house full of testosterone. They dated for about four year's maybe. I had met her kids a couple times over the years but didn't really know them seeing as we went to different schools. I got used to Angela I suppose. I mean I was still a little hostile towards her because she could never replace my mom. Over the years I did basketball and football. I was a real jock actually, in with the popular crowd and all that crap." He said laughing.

"No way." I said. He nodded.

"I know it's hard to believe now. But I guess people can change. Well obviously they can." He said gesturing at himself. He tapped some ash into the tray and brought the cigarette back up to his lips.

"What changed things?" I asked him. He blew out his smoke away from me and sighed.

"What changed things was actually something Brenna said. I said they dated for about four years. Three years into it I come home to hear Brenna talking to Dad. She asks him when Mommy was coming to visit again." I sucked air through my teeth with a pained look on my face. "Yeah I know. I mean she didn't understand why I got upset when I heard her say that. Understandably, I mean by this point she might have been eleven, which is still pretty young. When I heard her say that I tore into her. I yelled that Angela was not our mother, that she could never be our mother, that she could never replace her. I told Brenna she was a stupid brat and that I wished she would run out into the street one day and be killed by a crazy driver. I actually was going to go hurt her but she ran behind Dad. Dad was pissed beyond belief. He grabbed me by my upper arms and picked me up and held me up so I was looking him in the eyes. He told me if I ever said something like that to Brenna again I would be one dead little boy. He told me he understood my feelings about mom, that no one would ever replace my mom. And that Angela definitely didn't want to do that." He said staring at the table.

"What did you do?" I asked quietly. He looked up at me.

"I kicked him in the leg." He said taking a puff of his almost gone cigarette. I could see him eyeing up the pack. I laughed a little.  
"Why?" I asked as he stubbed out his second and went for a third. I waited patiently for him to light this one.

"Sorry I'm a bit of chain smoker. Um I guess I kicked him for two reasons. One he was holding me up off the ground and two I was angry at him. I mean he said he understood how I felt but how could he when he was the one dating her. In my little thirteen year old mind, not replacing mom meant not dating. So after I kicked him I ran to my room and locked the door. He didn't come up all night, I guess he figured I needed space, and I did. I didn't want to see him. A couple hours later Brenna shows up crying through the door to let her in. When I do she's hugging me saying she's sorry. I tell her I am too, that I didn't want her to die. I asked her if she understood why I got upset. She said she did. But then she asked me if I understood why she called Angela mom, I said I did but that I didn't like it. She told me that was too bad and laughed. I gave her a wedgie." He said puffing on his cigarette. I laughed.

"So after that I and my dad weren't the same. I wasn't the same. Over the next year I dropped out of sports, stopped hanging out with my normal friends, and stopped hanging out with anyone really. My clothes changed. Instead of wearing polo's and khakis," I cut him off with my laughter. "Yeah yeah shut up." He said rolling his eyes. "I started wearing band T shirts, flannel, old jeans with holes in them, doc martens. I got my ears pierced a couple of times at a place that didn't ask for parental consent. When my dad saw my ears for the first time he about blew a gasket. I thought it was funny… Things stopped being funny and got serious when one night He calls me down from my room and Brenna, Angela, and all the Sterling kids where there sitting in the living room. I walk in and he tells us all that Angela and he are getting married. Everyone else was pretty excited, I wasn't. I flipped my nut. I stormed out of the house and didn't come back for a week." He said leaning back and letting his head rest on the top of the chair. I watched him carefully. I could tell by his expression this is where the painful stuff started. "I stayed in central park the entire week. You should know that there are a lot of homeless people in central park and a lot of druggies. On my first night there this guy comes up to me. I could tell he was homeless. He was pretty young, older than me though. He wore a couple layers of clothes; he had long dirty blonde hair that was held back by a bandana. And even though he had nothing he walked like he had all the confidence in the world, like he owned everything." There was a slight smile on Trent's face, like he was remembering something really pleasant.

"You really admire this guy huh?" I asked quietly. The dazed look left his face as he looked at me. His smile dropped.

"Sort of. He came up to me and asked me if I had a place to stay. I told him no. He took me to a pretty secluded part of the park where there were two girls and two boys waiting for him. They had made a small fire and had sleeping bags and blankets. They were all sharing food and water and were laughing. I remember thinking it was like camping in the middle of New York City. He pulls me up them and says 'Guys this is Trent, he's cool people.' They all said hi and told me there names. The two boys were gay, dating each other. Their names were David and Jessi. They were really cool. David was such a guy; Jessi was definitely the girl in the couple. He would always faun over me acting like a mom. Whenever I was upset he was always like 'Oh honey child what's wrong? Sit down and tell Ms. J all about it!' He was hilarious. The two girls were Blake and Anna. Blake had this southern accent, I never did find out where she was from. Anna was my age, so I naturally gravitated toward her. She 's actually the one I eventually lost my virginity to, I think I was 15, I know we were both high anyway." He said pausing.

"What about the blonde guy, what was his name?" I asked. He laughed and coughed.

"That was Jamie. He was the oldest, 25 maybe? David and Jessi were 21. Blake was 17 and Anna was almost 14. They were a little family. They laughed and joked like a family and took care of each other. It wasn't until the third night when Jamie came back to our spot all excited that I knew he was different. He had scored. And when I say scored I mean he had gotten some coke. The others all clambered up to him to get a share, even Anna. They all started cutting lines and shooting up. I remember David saying 'well it's not meth but it'll have to do.' Jamie came up to me and asked me if I wanted to try it. That he wouldn't make me if I didn't want to, that I was a free agent. I thought about it for all of a second before nodding yes. He made what he called a coke cigarette. He said he preferred to smoke his coke, snorting hurt his nose and he was too squeamish to use needles. He took the first hit and passed it to me. Despite being all drugged up everyone was watching me. I just ignored them and took my first ever hit. God Bella it was so amazing, I could never describe the effect it had on me. Every night after ward I got high with them. First coke, then heroin, then meth. After a week I realized my dad would be worried and that I should head home. I told Jamie this and he laughed. He said 'but you can't leave until you try marijuana. We started you off backwards hard stuff first. Marijuana is for beginners.' So my last night we smoked marijuana. In the morning I was tired but happy. They all were really sad to see me go but I had to head back home. When I got home my dad wasn't even pissed he was just happy I was back. I can't say I was too. After that I would live at home but spend a lot of time with Jamie and the others. My dad and Angela didn't know for years that what I was doing every night and weekend was hanging out in central park doing drugs with the homeless druggies who got me started. It worked out to my advantage actually when dad and Angela got married because we moved into her apartment which was a lot bigger than ours and a lot closer to the park." He said stubbing out his cigarette and grabbing a fourth. I rolled my eyes at him. He smiled.

"It's the last one I swear, scouts honor." He said laughing and then coughing. I rolled my eyes. "Right, so that all started when I was 13. I went on like that for years. Dad and Angela never noticed because they were always at the hospital. You would think a doctor and nurse who treated people like my friends all the time would notice the symptoms of drug use. My dad and I could go weeks at a time without seeing each other. I stayed away from Brenna and the others. I know it kind of bothered them but they didn't make a big fuss. I kind of wish they would have. It went on like that for three years." He said. I sat up straight.

"Three years! You did hard core drugs for three years and no one ever noticed?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I'm a good actor. I mean I think the kids knew something was wrong with me, but like I said Dad and Angela were never around. When they finally noticed anthing I was sixteen. It was Christmas and Dad and Ang decided to take off for a week to spend time with us. They said it felt like they barely knew their kids." He said snorting. "Well one night I come home really late. Scratch that, it wasn't late to me; I came in later than that usually. I thought coming in around 1 00 was early. Dad and Angela are sitting up waiting for me. They said they asked the others where I was and they told them they never see me. Brenna said they saw me just as much as they saw Dad and Ang. This meant almost not at all. She told them she usually saw me right after school and right before school. I was the one in charge of picking up and dropping her off. Everyone else was finally in high school. She was the only one going to a different school." He said stubbing out his fourth cigarette and leaning back. He stayed true to his word and didn't light another one.

"They wanted to know what the heck I was doing. Angela asked if I came in this late all the time. Dad asked if I even would go to school. I of course lied to them. I said no I usually didn't come in this late. But it wasn't a lie when I said I went to school. I went to school every day; it's just sometimes I was high or coming down off of a high. I went to my room after that. What they didn't realize was the whole time they were talking to me I was high. I had done some meth with David before coming home." The sound of the back door opening stopped him from talking.

"Hey you two! Bella I was surprised when I woke up and you weren't there." Said Zach. I shrugged. He smiled. "Well then you two, Astrid will be here soon, so come inside. Everyone else is already awake and dressed." He said going back inside.

"Finish the story later?" I asked. He laughed.

"Sure." He said grabbing his cigarettes and lighter and following me inside.


	9. Chapter 9

Trent and I moved quietly by the others. They were all in the kitchen eating breakfast. As he passed the counter Trent tossed his cigarettes and lighter onto it.

"Het Trent how many did you smoke?" Called Brenna as we made our way down the hall.

"Four!" He called back. I could hear her sigh as I started up the stairs.

"Dude you're so going to get lung cancer." Called Ayden. Trent just laughed which of course turned into a cough. He followed me up the stairs and down the hall.

"See you in a few Bella." He mumbled as he jogged up the stairs to his attic room. I watched him go all the way up and close his door behind him. I sighed as I moved into Zach's room and closed the door. For someone who chain smokes and can barely laugh without coughing he is highly athletic. He sprinted up those stairs.

"Well he did play sports." I mumbled as I moved to my bag. I pulled out a pair of black skinny jeans and a loose white V neck. I pulled on a pair of white socks and then headed into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. While I was doing all this I couldn't stop thinking about Trent. We had barely gotten into his story and yet so much had happened. We hadn't even gotten to the part where Alex and Angela figured out he did drugs.

I surveyed my hair. It was massively frizzy. I pulled it out of its tie and brushed it out, calming the frizz a little. I pulled it back up into a messy bun, some hair falling out around my face. I smiled at my reflection, not bad. It could be worse. I left the bathroom to find Zach waiting for me in his room.

"So." He said conspiratorially.

"So what?" I asked walking over to my bag and putting away my toiletries.

"Oh come one Bella you know what! What were you and Trent talking about huh?" He asked, standing up and walking over to me.

"None of your business." I said smiling at him. He made his eyes go really wide and smiled really big. "Zach, don't!" I yelled as he grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder and took off out of the room. He ran down stairs with me and into the kitchen.

"Free smacks!" Called out Zach. I could hear the others laughing at me. All of a sudden I was pulled away from Zach. "Hey!" Called out a disappointed Zach.

"Leave her alone." Came Trent's raspy response. He put me down on my feet and moved to sit on the counter. He picked up his lighter and started playing with it.

"My hero." I said as I moved to sit by Sage at the table. They all laughed.

"Good morning Bella." Said Ayden, who was sitting across from me.

"Mornin'!" I said happily. He laughed as he dug into his eggs. They were all talking excitedly about Astrid, who would be there in a few minutes apparently. I watched Trent sit quietly, flipping his lighter open, lighting it, and then closing it. He just kept repeating this for a couple minutes. All of a sudden he hops off the counter and starts moving out of the kitchen.

"She's here!" He called. We all got quiet. How he heard the car pulling up outside was beyond me. Zach bounced out of the kitchen after him.

"She's here!" He yelled happily. We all followed them out onto the porch. Trent moved to sit in the porch swing. He sat down by a little plastic side table that held a rather full ash tray. He pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his zip up's pocket. He taps the pack open and lights one happily. I move to stand beside him.

"I didn't even see you take your cigarettes from the kitchen." I said.

"I didn't. I have packs stashed all over the house." He said smartly, smiling at me. I shook my head.

"Ayden's right, you are going to get lung cancer." I said turning to the car that had just parked in front of the house. He laughed which of course ended in a cough.

"Lay off the cigs!" Called the girl who climbed out of the car. Astrid Sterling was not at all what I expected. She was really short, no more than five feet. She had long black hair that was heavily layered with bangs that were cut straight across her forehead. She wore zebra striped skinny pants and a never shout never T shirt. Her pants were tucked into a pair of highly decorated converse. She had many jelly bracelets and friendship bracelets on her wrists. Around her neck she wore a couple of necklaces with different silver charms hanging off of them. Over all she looked really cool, but a lot younger than 21. "Zach!" She yelled as he ran to her. He picked her up and twirled her around. I laughed. He was definitely happy to see her. She went from kid to kid hugging everyone. She got to me just before Trent.

"And who's this?" She asked smiling, offering me a hug despite not knowing me. I hugged her.

"I'm Bella." I said. She pulled away slightly, but still holding me.

"Zach's new bff Bella?" She asked. I laughed and nodded. "Oh yay! He told me loads about you! I've been so excited to meet you!" She said jumping up and down while still hugging me. Trent stood up and separated us.

"Down girl down girl. Don't maim her." He said leaning down to stub out his cigarette.

"I thought you said you were cutting down a bit." She said eyeing the ash tray.

"Five in an hour is cutting down." He said hugging her. I saw Brenna role her eyes but nod her agreement. How bad was it before?

"Oh that's not bad for you. Better than a pack in the morning and two at night." Said Astrid pulling away from him.

"Come on let's go inside." Said Sage leading the way. We all went to the living room and sat down. Astrid sat in the love seat with Zach who placed his head on her shoulder and she lifted her hand to pat his cheek, which made him giggle as he threaded his arm through hers. I sat down on the couch with Trent on one side and Ayden on the other. Brenna and Sage piled onto the recliner together, giggling.

"So Bella I know all about you but did Zach tell you anything about me?" Astrid asked.

"Just that you were a writer and were 21." I said folding my feet under me and leaning against Trent's arm. He leaned towards me a little so we were supporting each other. Then he just collapsed across my lap.

"Trent!" Astrid called as I slapped his stomach. His head was rested on my lap.

"What?" He said.

"Stop being a dick." She said coolly. He laughed as he sat up and wrapped his arm good naturedly around my shoulder. I could hear Ayden sniff unhappily beside me. I had to stifle a laugh.

"Anyway, before we were so rudely interrupted." I said pulling away from Trent and flicking his arm. He laughed and rubbed his arm. "What do you write? Are you a journalist or do you write novels or something of the sort?" I asked her. She smiled.

"I'm a novelist and a poet. I wrote a few teen books that did pretty well and compiled a few poem books." She said getting comfortable.

"That's so cool. I've always liked writing." I said smiling. She looked interested.

"If you write anything and want an opinion or help I'm free." She said.

"Thanks." I said. We talked for a while. I asked her a load of questions. The others just sat and listened since they already knew all I was asking. After about an hour we were interrupted by my phone.

"So I've been thinking that, maybe baby.  
I've been going a little crazy lately, yeah whatcha gonna do.  
And Chelsea baby, I can't get you out of my head."

I grabbed my phone before the song could play further. It was my dad.

"Bella I'm going on a fishing trip with Billy and Jake. Wanna go?" He asked excitedly.

"Um no thanks Dad, when are you going to be back?" I asked.

"I'll be back Wednesday. Hey do you think you can stay with your friends? I don't like the idea of you staying by yourself." He asked.

"Yeah Dad I think that's doable." I said.

"By sweetie, love you." He said.

"Love you too." I said hanging up.

"Stereo Skyline?" Asked Astrid referring to my ring tone. I nodded.

"Hey Zach?" I asked. He perked up when I called out his name.

"Yes lover?" He asked. I laughed.

"Do you think I could stay here a little longer?" I asked. He stood up and raced over to me and plopped down in my lap.

"How much longer?" He asked excitedly.

"Well my dad said he wouldn't be back until Wednesday." I said. He squealed.

"YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES!" He yelled hugging me.

"Zach don't you think you should ask mom?" Asked Ayden. Zach froze.

"Oh yeah." He ripped my phone out of my hand and stood in the middle of the room and struck a pose. "I shall call ze Mama!" He said happily. He stood with all his weight on one leg, his hip cocked. He daintily dialed the phone and placed it to his ear, his other hand coming to rest on his cocked hip. We were all really quiet so we heard his mother say hello. And then he broke. He started jumping up down.

"Mommy mommy! Bella needs a place to stay! Her Daddy's going out of town and won't be back until Wednesday! Please please please!" He pleaded. I could hear her laughing at him.

"Ask Alex." She said. I heard Alex call hello to Zach.

"Daddy please!" He yelled. I guess Alex had heard Zach yelling to his mother because he didn't ask what Zach was talking about.

"Sure." He said. Zach screamed in delight.

"Thank you Daddy! Bye bye!" He said shutting the phone and tossing it to me. I sat with my mouth hanging open.

"Shut your mouth dear, you don't want the bugs to get in." Said Trent closing my mouth gently for me.

"You are such a little kid." I said to Zach. He giggled.

"Yes I am." He stated. I rolled my eyes as I sat back against the couch. Zach and Astrid left to go set up her room which was to be beside his. Sage and Brenna left to go shopping. They asked me to come. But I refused on the grounds that I hate shopping. Ayden turned to me.

"Do you need more clothes?" He asked. I nodded.

"Want me to drive you over to get some?" He asked hopefully.

"No that's okay. I have my truck. Thank you for asking me though." I said standing up and walking over to the coat rack. He pouted as he left the room and ran up stairs. Trent chuckled as I dug in my jacket pockets for my keys.

"I think you broke his heart." He mumbled as I turned towards him, keys in hand.

"Yeah well he'll get over it." I said slipping my shoes on, getting ready to leave the house. I had just opened the door when Trent called out to me.

"Hey Bella." He said. I turned to see him right behind me, he was really close. He rested a hand on the edge of the door, holding it in place, cornering me against it. He leaned down so we were on the same eye level. "Let's go do something fun." He said smiling.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked smiling back.

"You'll see." He said taking my hand and leading me out of the house. He held out his other hand for my truck keys. I gave them to him and we climbed in. "Right first things first. Your house first." He said. I nodded and looked out the window. From a second floor window I could see Ayden watching us. He looked angry. He could just get over it. I think I've made it clear to him that I don't like him like he likes me. Maybe I'll have to just come out and say it.

I gave Trent directions to my house. The whole time we were driving he was smiling and joking with me. When we pulled up to the house he sat back and looked at me.

"I'll wait here." He said. I nodded and climbed out of the cab and shut the door. "Hey Bella!" He called through the open window.

"What!" I called turning around.

"Is it okay to smoke in your truck?" He asked smiling at me slyly. I laughed and nodded. "Woot!" He called as he leaned back and lit up. I shook my head as I went into the house. I ran up to my room to get some more clothes. When I walked in my window was wide open and the curtains were billowing slightly in the small wind coming through. I furrowed my brow.

"I don't remember leaving the window open." I mumbled crossing the room and closing it.

"You didn't!" Someone said behind me. I jumped and put my hand over my beating heart before turning to see who it was.

"Alice?" I asked. She squealed and hopped over to me, and engulfing me in a hug.

"Hi Bella! I know it's been months, but I just couldn't bear to be away from you any longer! I missed you!" She said excitedly. I was struck speechless. I moved away from her, not talking. I started moving around the room packing a bag.

"What are you doing?" She asked happily.

"You mean you haven't seen it before hand?" I asked still moving around the room.

"Nope, Edward asked me not to look for your future, to not interfere." She said quietly. I just nodded my head as I tossed my phone charger and my I pod into the bag before zipping it up. I pulled it over my shoulder before picking up my school bag. She eyed it up.

"Are you going to be gone for a while?" She asked.

"Not that it's any of your business but yes. Charlie is going on an extended fishing trip and I'm staying with my friends." I said leaving the room. She followed me down stairs.

"Wait Bella." She called before I opened the door. I sighed and turned to look at her.

"What?" I asked.

"I thought you should know. Since I came back to see you Carlisle decided enough was enough. He moved us all back to Forks." She said moving closer to me. I froze. "Edward too." She said reading my expression. "You know he really misses you. He knows he made a mistake and," I cut her off.

"You can tell Edward to just fuck off!" I said angrily.

"Bella!" She scolded.

"No Alice! You all think you can just leave me and then come back and act like nothing happened! No." I said opening the door and walking determinedly to the truck. I threw the bags into the bed while I heard Trent lean over the seat and open the door for me. I turned and saw his head hanging out of the open door, a lit cigarette in his mouth.

"How many have you smoked since I left?" I asked quirking my eye brow at him.

"This is my second." He said. He turned and pointed toward the house. Alice was standing in the door way.

"Alice, go home and make sure to tell Edward what I said." I called. I climbed into the truck and slammed the door, leaning out of the window. "Oh and don't bother me again." I yelled. Trent pulled away as Alice was about to speak again. We sat in silence as the image of Alice in the mirror grew smaller and smaller. Finally I lost sight of her when we turned the corner.

"Who is she?" He asked.

"Edward's sister. Charlie must have let her in the house, he always did like her." I said covering up the fact that she had been in my house alone. I couldn't tell him she came in through the window.

"Edward is the guy that left you." He said. It wasn't a question but a statement. His grip on the wheel got noticeably tighter.

"Yeah." I said. His knuckles turned white. I unbuckled my seat belt and moved over to sit beside him. I leaned into his side. He took one hand off the wheel to wrap his arm around my shoulders.

"What did she want?" He asked. I sighed.

"Don't get mad okay?" I asked echoing his words from earlier this morning when we were alone in the kitchen. He nodded stoically.

"I know you said you would kill him if he ever came near me again. But I don't think it can be helped now. Alice told me that they moved back here. Edward and Alice are in my grade. The other three are in yours. They'll probably re enroll in school." I said. (A/N I know Edward left Bella when they were seniors in the book but I don't care. This is my story.) He sighed heavily and moved his arm from around me to light another cigarette. This was stressing him big time. "You okay?" I asked.

"I should be asking you the same thing." He said as I moved back over to my seat and buckled myself back in.

"I'm fine as long as I have you and Zach." I said smiling. "You two are the only ones who know. Well in your family. I should probably tell them. The whole school knows how they left me and how catatonic I got." I said. He glanced over at me.

"Want me and Zach to tell them?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No I probably should. But I'll do it tonight. Right now it's just you and me. I do believe you promised me some fun." I said smiling. He laughed and then coughed.

"I do believe you are right." He said as he drove out of Forks. I hoped it was fun enough to distract me, because right now I really needed a distraction.


	10. Chapter 10

We drove in silence for a while, neither of us saying a word. I kept looking at him out of the corner of my eye. His body looks relaxed but his grip on the steering wheel was tight and unrelenting. I sighed.

"Where are we going Trent?" I asked him. He smiled a little.

"Seattle." He said, not taking his eyes off of the road. I quirked my eye brow at him.

"What fun thing are we going to do in Seattle?" I asked. I had been to Seattle a million times before, despite being a big city there wasn't a whole lot of stuff to do, well in my mind any way.

"There's plenty of fun stuff to do in Seattle if you know where to look." He said glancing over at me with a small smile on his face.

"Like?" I prompted. He shook his head. He wasn't going to tell me. "Fine." I said huffily, he laughed. I turned my body fully toward him, sitting Indian style. "Well then if you're not going to tell me what we're doing you can tell me a story." I said slyly.

"What kind of story?" He asked.

"I was hoping you would finish the story you were telling me this morning." I said leaning back against the door. He frowned. He opened his mouth to say something but I stopped him. "I mean you did say you would tell me the rest later, and now it's later. And we're in my truck in the middle of the high way, no siblings to interrupt this time. And we'll be in the car for a couple hours." I said sweetly, trying to coerce him. He sighed heavily. We came to a red light, entering a small town. He pulled a cigarette from the pack resting between us and lit it before the light turned green. He blew the smoke out the open window. We drove slowly through the town. The whole time he was silent. I could tell he was thinking. As soon as we were back on the high way he spoke.

"Yeah okay." He said.

"Your parent's caught you coming in late." I prompted. He nodded.

"Right. Well they had taken time off from work to be with us over Christmas and we were off for Christmas vacation. I knew with them being home it would be hard for me to keep my normal schedule. And the others were definitely not going to help me. They wanted me home. I kept finding notes they had all written together on my bed every night I came home saying they wanted me to stay home every now and then. I decided since it was Christmas I would humor them a little. They were all shocked the day after Dad and Ang caught me coming in late that I was actually there. Normally when we didn't have school, I would come in late and leave early, to be with my drug family. So when I came down to breakfast they all were just kind of sitting there staring at me. Brenna ran up to me and was hugging me. Luckily our parents saw none of this because they were still sleeping." He said. He sighed as he threw the cigarette butt out the window and one handed, lit another.

"They were all asking me questions about why I was there and where I normally went. I told them to shut up and stop asking. I said the point was that I was there, and that was all that mattered. We were all eating silently when Brenna gets up and runs out of the room, she raced back in with my beat up old acoustic and hands it to me. She says will you play for us it's been really long since you have. The only time they ever heard me play is when the pleading in their letters really got to me and I decided to spend some time at home which was not often." He said.

"If you don't mind me interrupting, where did you learn to play guitar?" I asked him.

"Jamie taught me. He had originally come to New York to be a singer in a band. The band kicked him out when his drug habit got too bad. He always used to tell me he saw himself in me I used to take it as a compliment. Now I almost view it as an insult, I don't want to be like him anymore. But he did give me a real gift when he taught me to play." He said. I nodded.

"Anyway, we moved from the kitchen to the living room and I start playing for everyone. We must have sat there for an hour, them listening and me playing before our parents came down. They just kind of stood there and watched. I mean, they didn't know I could play, they had never heard me and I guess no one ever mentioned it to them. When I finished playing my dad complimented me and asked me where I learned. I told him a friend taught me. But I got really defensive. Saying that he would know that if he was ever home. I tried leaving the room but he grabbed me around the elbow. And I freaked out like he was really hurting me because he was. In the crook of my elbow was usually where I shot up. I struggled with him, him asking me what was wrong with me. I became like a wild animal, trying to get away. I should have calmed down but I mean come on, what drug addict can act rash and cool faced with the fear of being found out. Ayden and Zach pinned me. Back then that was a pretty easy thing to do because I was kind of skinny and almost malnourished looking. All I did was drugs and I would barely eat unless I was smoking weed and got the munchies. They have me pinned to the ground. And my dad and Angela are leaned over me asking what's wrong and I couldn't answer them. That's when it dawned on Angela what might be going on. She grabs my arm from Zach and rips my sleeve up." He said quietly. He threw his cigarette out the window again and put it up, placing both hands on the wheel. He looked scared of what he was going to say. I stayed silent giving him time to find the words. Finally he spoke.

"She started crying when she saw what was there. She was shaking her head. She took my other arm from Ayden and rolled up my other sleeve, which just made her cry harder. I had track marks and bruises from where I would shoot up heroin. She checked up my nose and saw how raw my nasal passage was from snorting coke. She checked my teeth which were getting kind of gross. Not because I didn't brush but because I had meth mouth. When you take too much meth your teeth go gross, mine were starting to. This whole time my dad is sitting on the couch just staring at me like he can't believe it. Angela is sitting beside me on the ground; I'm still flat on my back. Brenna, Sage, Ayden, and Zach are all staring at me from where ever they were sitting. Finally Angela says 'Well that's Heroin, Coke, and Meth. What else do you do?'" He says quietly. He's breathing hard, like he's trying not to cry. He takes a minute but he manages to calm himself down.

"I tell her, kind of in this weird monotone, that I do everything and anything I can get my hands on. Heroin, Coke, Meth, Marijuana, Acid, Ecstasy, Cotton, Big O, Bathtub speed, B- Bombs, Apache, LSD, Businessman's LSD, China White, Ephedrine, Rohypnol, and PCP. The list goes on and on. I mean I've done everything. I really should be more messed up than I am. My biggest problem now is that my memory is like Swiss cheese. I have to work ten times harder than most to remember stuff but I manage." I can't even move I'm just staring at him.

"You're right you should be worse off. You must have a guardian angel or something." I mumbled. He laughed and coughed.

"You know what I really think I do; I think it's my mom." He said smiling.

"So what happened after you told them?" I asked quietly.

"They got me into rehab. I was amazed when they didn't yell or scream, at least not at me anyway. They would fight and scream at each other. They felt like this was their fault, that it was because they were such negligent parents that I went off the deep end. One day my dad comes to the clinic where I'm staying and asks me how long I had been at it. This was just after my seventeenth birthday. So I told him about that time I ran away, when he and Angela announced their marriage. I told him that was the first time I had tried drugs and had been doing them ever since. I had never seen my dad cry before but he broke down then. I held him and told him that it wasn't his fault. He asked how it wasn't. I told him I had a choice, that I was a free agent. And I made the choice to start doing drugs. I was just parroting what Jamie said to me all the time. None the less it made my dad feel better. He said he liked that I was taking responsibility for my actions and not placing the blame on others even thought he still felt like it was partially his fault. After he left I dug under my bed for my stash. That clinic sucked. Jamie and the others came to see me every Friday and would bring me some heroin, my poison of choice. As I was shooting up I began to think. What the hell was I doing to myself? I was ruining my life and my family's life. I started to freak the fuck out. I felt like the world was closing in on me. And in the back of my mind I heard this voice that sounded like Jamie's saying to end it. That I wasn't worth anything, and my family would be better off without me. I OD'd." He said quietly. I could feel the warm drip of tears on my cheeks. He took one hand off of the steering wheel and held his arm out to me. I unbuckled myself and re- buckled myself in the middle, folding myself into his side. "Even though I had locked my door they got in, the workers. They had a master key. They say when they found me I wasn't breathing. They called all nurses to my room and quickly shocked my heart back to beating. They say I was only gone for about a minute and that I'm lucky they got to me in time. I didn't think so. When my dad heard he took me out of that clinic and put me into a new one that had high security, so my so called friends couldn't get in, and a better program. They were much better than the first place. I was there a year, leaving right after I turned eighteen. And then we came here, and I met you." He said uneasily. He was sitting extremely stiffly. I picked my head up to look up at him.

"You're leaving something out. What happened in that year?" I asked him. He sighed.

"Well when I got there it was about two days after my OD. I was still in pretty bad shape physically and mentally, they now had me on a suicide watch. When they got me there I shut down, I resisted treatment. I didn't talk, I didn't sleep, and I didn't eat. I was already a light weight when I got there so I dropped dangerously low. They labeled me anorexic when I hit 90 pounds. So now they're treating me for all kinds of stuff. Every time I saw Angela and Dad they looked so sad. Angela cried every time and would hug me and beg me to stop doing this to myself. Eventually Dad had to stop coming to see me because he couldn't handle seeing me the way I was. About four months in Angela brings in Brenna, Sage, Ayden, and Zach. As soon as Brenna sets eyes on me she freaks out. She's crying her eyes out and flings herself at me. I was barely strong enough to catch her. I had to sit down on the bed because I couldn't hold up my little sister; she weighed more than me and was stronger than me at this point. A nurse comes in and says we can go outside into the back yard where people can visit with their families. It was the first time in a long time that I had been outside. Ayden and Zach had to help me outside because I didn't walk well on m own. The bones in my feet protruded so badly that it felt like I was cutting my feet open every time I took a step. I could tell they were holding in their tears as they helped me. They got me outside and started talking to me. At first I was unresponsive. But Sage turns to me with these big sad eyes and says she loves me and misses me. And I snapped, but in a good way. I finally open my mouth after months of not speaking. I say I'm sorry, and I start to cry. I tell them all I love them." He said. By this point I had laid my head back on his shoulder. I felt rather than saw him cry, his hot tears dripping from his face to mine.

"This is what spurred me to get better, my family. I started eating again, I started participating in therapy, and I started taking the meds they gave me for my depression. Eight months later I am out of there. The whole time I was thinking of my family and how much I wanted to be with them. It took me an entire year but I did it. When I got out they were all waiting for me right outside the clinic. They were all smiling and laughing, hugging and kissing me. When I got into the car my dad told me I looked good. And I did. I had cut my hair, was clean, I was sleeping regularly and eating and working out. But the most important thing was that I felt good. After four years of suffering I finally felt good. They told me on the way home that the next day we would be flying out to Washington. They thought it would be a good idea to leave New York. I agreed. But I told them I needed to make one stop before we left. So when we got home I went to Central Park, to that secluded area I knew my drug family would be. I found Jamie, David, and Anna. But no Blake and no Jessi. They told me that Jessi had passed away from the AIDS he didn't know he had. No one had known. They told me about a month after Jessi passed Blake did too. She had shared needles with Jessi, became HIV positive which turned into AIDS and died. David told me he was HIV positive as well, from having unprotected sex with Jessi. Anna and Jamie refused to get tested. They had never shared needles or had sex with the others. David told me to go and get tested. I had shared needles once or twice with him when I hadn't had any. I told him I would. I told Anna to get tested because we had had un protected sex which meant Jamie should get tested too because he and Anna were now together, so the four of us went to one of the free clinics. I was negative as were Anna and Jamie. We were lucky. After we left the clinic I got a call on my cell phone from Angela. One of her friends saw me at the clinic and had called her. She wanted to know what I was doing. Her friend had told her my friends came in all the time for clean needles. Angela was scared. She thought I was going right back to my old habits. But I wasn't, I told her I would be home in a few hours and I hung up on her. They took me to see Jessi and Blake's graves. We spent a couple of hours there reminiscing. I really miss those two. Despite our groups trouble's we were still like a little family. I feel like I'm missing a brother and sister. While we were there David, Anna, and Jamie told me they had stayed in the park because they knew I would eventually come find them. They had wanted to tell me everything that I had missed and now that they had they were moving on. Anna was working on getting her GED. Jamie and David had gotten jobs and had finally saved up enough to get the three of them a home to live in. They were turning their lives around. And it had taken seeing me carted off to rehab and loosing Blake and Jessi to change them. I told them everything I had gone through and they apologized over and over again to me. They felt it was their fault for hooking me on the drugs in the first place. I told them no, that I had a choice. Just like I told my dad. We split up from there. We exchanged information and we're still in contact. They're all still clean and so am I." He said. I was only silent for a second.

"What about when you came home?" I asked him. He laughed.

"Well everyone was freaking out. Dad was getting ready to call the police. They thought I was out getting high somewhere. When I came in Angela rushed me and started checking me for pin pricks and bruises, checking my eyes to see if I was high. I started laughing. I asked her what she was doing. She backed off and shrugged. I was obviously fine. They asked about me and my friends and what we had been doing. I told them exactly what we did. I told them I had gone to the clinic to get tested for HIV. My Dad's face got paper white. And he asked if I was positive or negative. I told him I was negative. They were all so relieved. The next day we flew out to Washington and came to Forks. That was right after school started." He said.

"But it's the beginning of October; you've been in school for a week. Where were you during September?" I asked.

"I was having anxiety problems. The scene change freaked me out more than I thought it would. My parents had to get me into counseling. The counselor told me to hold off on school. My siblings begged to stay with me. They wanted to start school all together. They thought if I started school later than them, people would talk and ask me really uncomfortable questions. So we started late." He said. I picked my head up and looked at him.

"As much as I hate that you went through all that and were having anxiety issues I'm glad you started late. If you had started school when you moved here I would never have given you and your family a second look because Edward and his family were still around." I mumbled. He looked down at me as we got to a red light. We had gotten to Seattle without me realizing it. "How do you know your way around Seattle so well?" I asked him. He smiled as he drove again.

"My therapist is in Seattle. I go every other Friday to see her. She's really cool." He said as he maneuvered the packed streets. It was the middle of Saturday, everybody was out and about.

"When's your next session?" I asked him.

"This coming Friday." He said. He pointed out a building as we came to another red light. It was red brick with a light blue door and a cozy looking porch. "That's where I go." He said smiling again. I nodded as the truck moved. We sat comfortably in the silence. He kept smiling. I could tell he felt good telling me his entire story. I felt so close to him now. I felt like I understood him that much better. I closed my eyes and started to contemplate what he told me but suddenly the truck stopped, he had parked somewhere.

"Ready to have to some fun?" He asked. I opened my eyes and looked at our surroundings and then turned to look at him. He was smiling big with real excitement in his eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

**Warning this chapter is very OOC for Bella…And I don't give a fuck.**

"You do realize I'm underage right?" I asked, staring out of the wind shield. He laughed at me and then coughed.

"Yeah I know but this place doesn't ask for a parent's permission." He said hopping out of the truck. I climbed gingerly out of the truck as well, all the while keeping my eyes on the piercing and tattoo shop. He came over to my side of the truck and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Live a little Bella." He said.

"How did you find this place any way, it's probably the only shop in Seattle that doesn't ask for parental consent."

"Actually you're right; they are the only shop that doesn't ask. I don't know I guess I have a knack for finding places like this one." He said shrugging.

"Any place that doesn't ask can't be that great." I said trying to get out of getting anything done.

"Actually they're really good. Nice work and nothing but professional. They just think if someone wants to modify their bodies it should be their choice and not someone else's." He said smiling at me. I raised my eye brow at him.

"Have you gotten something done here already?" I asked eyeing up his ears.

"I got all three holes in each of my ears in New York Bella." He said. I stayed silent, waiting for him to tell me what he got here. He sighed and pointed in the general vicinity of the left side of his chest, my mouth fell open.

"Your nipple?" I asked. He nodded with a smile.

"But I've seen you with your shirt off! And I didn't see any jewelry."

"I have a clear retainer in it so my parents won't notice it." He said shrugging. He turned pleading eyes on me. "Please Bella get something done." He said putting his bottom lip way out. I sighed.

"Fine." I said.

"Yes! Come on!" He said grabbing my hand.

"Wait." I said stopping him. "On one condition. You have to put real jewelry in your…" I trailed off pointing at his nipple. He laughed and coughed.

"Deal. I don't much care if my parents hate it or not, I was just trying to save them the headache." He pulled me into the shop where he was warmly greeted by a tall and gangly looking guy with a green Mohawk. He was pierced and tattooed all over. When he spoke to Trent it was with an English accent.

"Oi hey Trent, haven't seen you in a few." He said offering a hand to Trent.

"Hey Grayson, I know it's been a few weeks." He said shaking Grayson's hand.

"And who is this?" Asked the punk, turning his eyes on me. He smiled kindly at me. Usually when guys looked at me it was lustily but Grayson looked at me like I was actually a person.

"This is my friend Bella; I managed to convince her to get something done with me." Said Trent smiling at me.

"What were you thinking love?" Grayson asked with his awesome accent.

"I'm not sure yet." I said quietly. He laughed.

"Well you can think about it while I work on Trent, he's getting a lot done today." He said removing the chain that hung between the counter and the wall, letting us behind the counter. I raised my eyebrow at Trent who just smiled. We followed Grayson through a door way. In the middle of the room was a big black chair. Immediately to my left was another door way leading to a room set up like the one we were in. There was a girl with long rose red hair working on piercing a man's cheek. I quickly turned away from the sight to see Trent climb up into the chair. Grayson put a stool on one side of Trent and gestured for me to sit. He sat on the stool on the other side of him and started readying some equipment at his station.

"Trent what are you getting done?" I asked.

"Mate you didn't tell her?" I asked Grayson as he readies a lethal looking needle in a metal contraption roughly the size of his fist.

"Nope. Bella I'm getting a tattoo." He said smiling. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"What of?" I asked feeling nervous for him. He took my hand to calm me.

"It's a portrait…sort of." He said.

"Oh yeah I have it all drawn up already, lemme go and get it." Said Grayson.

"What do you mean sort of?" I asked Trent.

"Well it's my mom but it's a really young picture of her. And she's going to have wings and a halo." I smiled.

"Guardian angel tattoo." I said.

"Exactly." He said. Grayson came in and handed Trent the sketch, he placed the stencil on the table of his station. I leaned over to see the sketch. It was a girl, she was maybe 18 or 19, her eyes were closed and ringed with dark make up, she had a ring in her nose and her lips were full and Angelina Jolie like. She had long black hair, some of her bangs hung in her face. She wore all black, a long sleeve shirt and long pants with a pair of knee high doc martens. There was a microphone on a stand in front of her. Both of her hands rested on top of the mic. She had a slight smile on her face, she looked content. Open behind her were a pair of beautiful angel wings. Above her head was a halo made of shading. It was gorgeous.

"Alright mate strip down." Said Grayson. He closed the curtains on the window and turned to Trent.  
"What?" I asked as Trent stood up.

"It's going on my thigh Bella." Said Trent. He pulled his shoes off and then his jeans. Grayson handed him some tape. Trent pulled the right side of his boxers up and taped them there to his skin. He climbed back up into the chair. I watched nervously as Grayson laid the stencil out on Trent's leg it wasn't directly on the top of his thigh, it was over a little almost on the side. Grayson pulled the paper away and looked up at Trent.

"Does that look okay?" He asked. Trent nodded and smiled.

"It's perfect." He said. I relaxed a little at his words. It was perfect. Grayson looked up at me and smiled.

"And you! Have you figured out what you're getting?" He asked as he picked up his tattoo gun and started it up. The buzzing sent my heart racing again. I shook my head.

"Well Trent is getting pierced and tattooed, maybe you should too, I'll let you have them for free because your Trent's friend." He said smirking at Trent. Trent rolled his eyes.

"I couldn't." I said protesting.

"Yes you can. I'm getting them for free." Said Trent.

"Yeah Trent's my mate, and now you're my mate by default." Said Grayson as he dipped his needle into the black ink and started applying it to Trent's thigh. I turned my head away and looked at Trent.

"Go look at the tattoos displayed out on the wall." He said with a slight smile. I nodded practically racing from the room. I started looking at the walls. A lot of them were really beautiful but I had no clue what I would get. I came to a poster full of bands, tribal, roses and thorns, etc. I saw one that looked like the stitching on Sally from the Nightmare before Christmas. I studied it. That wouldn't look half bad on my wrist. I raised my eye brow; I couldn't believe I was actually considering all this. I walked over to another poster that showed diagrams of different piercings. I realized I didn't know what Trent was getting done. I tramped over to the door way of the room he was in.

"What are you getting pierced?" I asked him. He looked up from where Grayson was currently giving him his decorative wound.

"My tongue." He said sticking it out at me with a cheeky grin. I rolled my eyes and moved back into the main room to look at the poster again. There were a lot of diagrams, there were a lot of different ear piercings, then there were eyebrow, nose, septum, labret, snake bites, medusa, monroe, angel bites, smileys, reverse smiley's, cheek, bridge of your nose, third eye, uvula, spider bites, and multiple ways to get your tongue done. I was definitely scared. But my eyes kept drifting to the monroe piercing, I thought it was attractive. I moved back to the room Trent was getting inked in, decision made.

"Know what you want?" He asked. I nodded. "Well?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Not telling." I said mischievously.

"That's the spirit love." Said Grayson making me giggle. The red haired women walked through our room leading the cheek dude out. She rang him up and then came into our room again.

"Hey Trent dear." She said with an English accent like Grayson's. He nodded to her. "Hi I'm Mia." She said offering me a hand which I took.

"Bella." I said smiling.

"Oi Mia why don't you hook Bella up with her piercing while I work on Trent. I'll be inking her after I'm done here." He said, bent over his work.

"Sure. Follow me Bella." She said. I got up not looking at Trent and followed her. I didn't want him to know how nervous I was. She pointed me to the big black chair. I climbed in and she turned it away from the door way, away from Trent. "I heard you say to them that you weren't telling what you were getting." She said smiling. "What do you want?" She asked conspiratorially leaning towards me on her stool.

"I want a monroe on my right side." I said quietly, smiling wide. She nodded and professionally surveyed my face.

"Good choice." She said. "Hey Trent your girl has good taste!" She called.

"She's with me isn't she!" He called back, laughing and coughing. I could feel my face turn red.

"I'm not his girl were just friends." I mumbled. Mia raised her pierced eye brow as she readied her equipment. She took a sharpie and lightly put a dot where the piercing would go. She held up a hand held mirror.

"How does that look?" She asked. I nodded my head. She put the mirror down and picked up a large pair of what looked like pliers but at the end were little circles. She centered these circles over the sharpie dot and pulled my upper lip away from my mouth. She picked up a needle. My breath hitched. "Relax Bella. I want you to close your eyes alright, so you don't see it coming and freak out." She said softly. I did as I was told, trying to slow my breathing. "Alright take a big breath in." She said and when I did I felt the needle go through my skin, it gave off a slightly sickening pop noise. "Alright breathe out." She said. I did so shakily. I opened my watery eyes took look at her. She smiled at me as she carefully pulled the pliers off from around the needle and then quickly slipped the silver stud into the hole and screwing the ball on. She let go of my face and took a Q tip dipped in antiseptic and cleaned around the new hole. I was bleeding a little. "How do you feel, you're not woozy or sick or anything." She said sweetly.

"No I'm fine I said shakily." She nodded. She handed me an after care sheet.

"That has instructions for piercings and tattoos love. You did great." She said leaning down and hugging me. I hugged her back. "Let's stay in here for a little while, keep them waiting." She said at a normal volume. I hadn't realized we had been talking in whispers.

"No fair!" Called Trent over the whir of the tattoo gun. We both laughed.

"You should really see it Trent, she looks gorgeous with it! It's a good start." She said teasingly. My eyes got wide and she laughed at my expression. The tattoo gun stopped and in a second Trent and Grayson were behind me. I covered my face as they moved around the chair.

"Break time." Said Grayson. "Let's see it Bella." He said laughing at me. I lowered my hands slowly, letting them survey my new monroe. Trent smiled big and Grayson nodded approvingly. "Very nice love." He said smiling. I smiled back.

"Thanks." I said. I turned to Trent. "What do you think?" I asked him.

"It looks lovely on you." He said. I nodded and looked down at the half way done tattoo. The outline was all done.

"It looks good." I said appreciatively. It was absolutely gorgeous. "I can't wait until the shading is done." I said looking up at him. He nodded smiling at me.

"Alright man back in the chair." Said Grayson excitedly. For the next hour I sat with Mia and chatted. It turns out her and Grayson were married in Manchester and then came to Seattle two years ago. Mia was excited because they had just gotten their US citizenship. When Trent was all done he and Grayson came into our room. Trent turned so I could fully see the tattoo.

"Why does the shading look so purple?" I asked.

"That's the bruising love. It'll be like that for about a week and half give or take a few days. It's because of the technique I used. When the bruising goes away it'll look like a charcoal drawing." Said Grayson.

"It's beautiful." I said. Trent smiled at me.

"Your turn!" Said Trent excitedly walking back to the other room. Grayson followed him and went about cleaning his station and readying it for me. I walked into the other room as Trent was bandaging his leg. He pulled on his pants and shoes and turned to me. "So what are you getting?" He asked. I beckoned him to follow me. We went into the main room and I pointed to the stitching band tattoo.

"That's lovely." Said Mia. "I'll ready a stencil, where's it going?" She asked.

"Around my left wrist." I mumbled. She nodded and moved to a light desk. I walked into the other room and hopped up into the seat that Trent formerly occupied. A couple minutes later Mia came in with the stencil and laid it out on my left wrist, the ends meeting so it completely encompassed my wrist like a bracelet. Grayson smiled.

"Your girl is a trooper, that a pretty painful spot for a first tattoo. I'm just glad she didn't pick her ribs. That's the absolute worst spot even for a seasoned veteran." He said laughing. I gave him a small smile. As he fired up the gun my heart sped up. Trent laid a reassuring hand on my knee as Grayson took my arm. I closed my eyes as he started. It wasn't all that bad. It didn't hurt so much as it was irritating. Minutes passed and when I continued to be okay I opened my eyes and smiled. The sensation wasn't so irritating anymore and it barely hurt. I suppose it's because I had been through worse.

"So what's that scar from Bella it looks like something bit you." Grayson said nodding to the white crescent shaped scar slightly above where he was tattooing.

"Yeah uh I was bit, by this crazy dude, he was off his meds." I said making up a lie quickly.

"Whoa that sucks." He mumbled as he continued to work, he was almost done; mine was a lot smaller than Trent's.

"Really?" Asked Trent. I turned to look at him and nodded.

"He was crazy, it's okay. From what I've heard he died in the asylum they took him to." I said lying again.

"Whoa dude." Said Trent with a sad smile. I just nodded and turned back to look at Grayson, he was finishing up now. He turned off the gun and relinquished my arm.

"What do you think?" He asked.

"It's awesome I love it!" I said excitedly. I couldn't believe I had been tattooed and pierced all in one day. Before I had only ever had my ears pierced.

"Just let me bandage you up." Grayson said. Trent stood up and went into the main room. I heard him speak to Mia about a curved barbell for his nipple and a barbell for his tongue. She led him into her work room and I listened as they joked as she took the clear retainer out and put the barbell in. She then pierced his tongue, I heard him grunt slightly. He then walked into the room as Grayson let go of my wrist.

"Flash me your tits and tongue boy." I said laughing. Every one erupted in laughter. Trent pulled up his shirt and showed me the silver curved barbell in his nipple while sticking out his tongue. In his tongue was a light blue metal barbell. I nodded and he lowered his shirt.

"Come on girly." He said. I got up and I followed him and Mia out into the front room, Grayson behind me.

"Thanks so much guys." Said Trent appreciatively. He hugged both of them.

"No problem man. Don't be a stranger. You too Bella. I hope we get to work with you again." Said Grayson hugging me.

"You probably will. I got off easy this time, I'm sure Trent will bring me back here." I said as I hugged Mia. Trent took my hand and led me out of the shop with our friends calling goodbyes after us. Trent climbed into the driver's side and me into the passengers. "Where to now?" I asked as we pulled out of our spot and onto the road.

"Wanna get some food?" He asked looking at me out of the corner of his eye. My stomach rumbled at his words. "I'll take that as a yes." He said laughing. I rolled my eyes as he chuckled quietly.


	12. Chapter 12

Trent drove us to a small diner just outside of Seattle, heading back towards Forks. We went in and we're seated by an older grey haired woman. She came back quickly after seating us with our drinks and then took our orders. Once she left Trent and I were left in silence. We weren't looking at each other and the silence was getting kind of awkward.

"What's wrong?" I said looking up at him. His head was bent down and he was nervously, lightly tapping his fingers on the table top. He looked up and he looked upset.

"I'm sorry. I was just thinking about what we did today and I realized I pretty much forced you into getting stuff done. It should have been your choice. And I just realized how your dad might react." He mumbled. I laughed at him and he looked shocked to say the least.

"Don't worry about it. I'll handle that when the time comes. And this is not your fault. What was it you said earlier when you were telling me your story? It was my choice I have free agency." I said throwing his own words back in face. He laughed and coughed. After that the atmosphere around us felt lighter and we were joking and laughing when our food came. We started eating still laughing at one another. "So…your mom was really pretty." I said softly. Trent sobered up a bit and nodded.

"Yeah she was. The picture Grayson drew the tattoo from was when my mom was a freshman in college at UArts in Philadelphia." He said smiling. I smiled as he spoke and thought about his mom. "She was only 18. She looked kind of like the typical art student, except she was a music student." He said smiling wider. "She met my dad her senior year. He had graduated from Temple U two years beforehand, they had common friends. That's how they knew each other. They started dating and after she graduated they got married. They moved to NYC, he got a job at a hospital and she worked on her music from the house. But she had to put it all on hold when she got pregnant with me a couple years later." He lost his smile. "She almost died giving birth to me, she bled too much. And then two years later she has Brenna and she dies because this time they couldn't stop the bleeding." He sighed. I reached across the table and put my hand comfortingly over his. He looked up at me and smiled. "But it's okay now I have her on my skin to carry her everywhere I go." He said. I nodded.

We finished our food quickly after that. It was late afternoon and we were feeling tired and just wanted to get home. Trent drove again but I didn't mind. With Edward I got kind of angry when I wasn't even allowed to drive my own truck. But with Trent it was just an easy going and light decision. He would ask me if I minded, not tell me he was driving and that was the end of that.

The atmosphere inside the truck on the way home was a quiet peaceful one, and slightly sleepy on my part. I fell asleep during the drive and after what felt like only minutes we were back at his house. I climbed out of the truck and stumbled only to be caught by Trent.

"Careful Bella. Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself now." He said laughingly. I rolled my eyes as we walked into the house. As soon as we were in the living room Zach ran up to me.

"Bella! Where have you been?" He started to say more but stopped when he saw my monroe and wrapped wrist. He raised his eyebrow. "Looks like you got some work done with Trent. Hey we match!" He said pointing to his monroe. How had I not noticed that before? "Show me the tattoo!" He said. I could see over his shoulder everyone else perk up. Ayden got up and walked over. I could feel his eyes on my new piercing as I un-wrapped my wrist. Zach squealed a little when he saw the tattoo. "That is really cool!" He said leaning forward and hugging me. When he let go Ayden took my hand and pulled it up so he could better look at my wrist. I felt Trent get stiff beside me. He wrapped his arm around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"That's really cool Bella." He said lowering my hand but still keeping his hold on it. "But I'm starting to think Trent may be a bad influence on you. I thought when you left this morning you were going to get more clothes from your house." He said narrowing his eyes slightly at Trent. I pulled my hand from his and stuffed it in my pocket.

"We did go to her house." Trent said holding up my bag. I hadn't even noticed he had brought it in from the truck. My mind went back to this morning. I had completely forgotten about this morning and Alice. The Cullen's were back. I pulled away from Trent then. I needed to talk to Zach. I grabbed Zach's hand with a serious look on my face. His smile fell and he stepped closer to me.

"I need to talk to you upstairs." I said. He pulled me up the stairs. As he did I could feel Ayden's and Trent's gazes digging into my back. I shot look over my shoulder at Trent, he nodded. Somehow he knew what I was going to tell Zach. When we got to Zach's room I shut the door behind me and leaned up against it.

"What's wrong Bella? What happened?" He asked worriedly. I didn't answer right away. As I looked at him he got a funny look on his face. "Did you and Trent do the dirty or something?" He asked. I pushed off the door and looked at him shocked.

"NO!" I yelled at him. He laughed at me.

"Okay then what's the matter with you?" He asked. I came over and sat on his knee sighing loudly.

"When Trent and I went to my house this morning he waited in my truck and I went in alone. When I went up to my room to get my stuff Alice was there waiting for me. My dad must have let her in." I said. His smile fell and he looked at me confused.

"Alice as in your old best friend Alice?" He asked. I nodded. He growled which sort of surprised me.

"What in the fucking hell was she doing there?" He asked angrily. I was shocked. In the short time I had known him Zach had always been light and girly, a real stereotypical gay boy. But apparently when he was angry he turned into Mr. cursing manly man. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"She said that she missed me. She said that she just had to come and see me and tell me that the rest missed me too. She said they were all moving back here and were re-enrolling in school." I said. His eyes got wide at this news. He pulled me into a tight hug.

"What are we going to do?" He asked. It struck me that he said we. He wasn't going to make me handle this on my own and for that I was grateful.

"I don't know." I said. "I'm sure we can think of something. Trent could help, he knows about them too." I said quietly. For a moment Zach lost his angry and worried air and smirked at me smugly.

"Trent?" He asked.

"Shut up." I said as I smacked his chest. "Alice told me that Edward really misses me and that he knows he made a mistake in leaving me." I said. He looked at me skeptically. "My sentiments exactly. I don't care if he wants me back. I can't handle that. I can't trust him." I said. He nodded in agreement. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Calling Trent to come up here. The three of us are going to brain storm." He said smiling. I shook my head as he dialed. "Trenty would you mind coming upstairs please?" He asked. I could hear Trent gruff voice on the other line.

"What for Zach?" He asked.

"You, me, and Bella are going to figure out what we are going to do about the Cullen's." He said. There was a pause.

"I'm coming up." He said. And then he hung up. A couple seconds later he came through the door closing it behind him. "Well aren't you two cozy." He said. I was still sitting on Zach's knee.

"Jealous." I said. He laughed.

"You know it." He said smirking, I blushed. Zach stood up suddenly, grabbing me around the waist so I wouldn't fall.

"I know what we have to do! It's genius." He said letting go of me, I stumbled into Trent who caught me with ease.

"What? Try and maim Bella some more?" Trent asked jokingly. I rolled my eyes as I flopped down onto Zach's bed.

"No silly!" Said Zach swatting at Trent's arm. He was finally acting normal again, well as normal as Zach can be anyway.

"Well then what?" Asked Trent, flopping down beside me.

"You and Bella need to date!" Exclaimed Zach clapping his hands excitedly. I raised my eyebrows at him. Trent laughed.

"That's your genius idea? How is Bella and I dating going to help with the Cullen situation?" He asked still laughing. I snorted. Zach pouted at us.

"It will help because if Bella is unavailable maybe Edward will leave her be. And if he leaves her alone maybe the rest of the family will too." He said crossing his arms indignantly. Trent quieted down and looked at the floor pensively. I raised my eye brow at him. Was he actually considering this? We were friends. I mean sure I did have a sort of crush on him, but still, this was insane. He looked slowly over at me and smiled softly.

"What do you think Bella? Wanna be my girl friend?" He asked with a sweet smile. My mouth dropped open.

"Wouldn't you rather date someone else? I mean I'm nothing special and there are plenty of girls at school who like you, trust me." I said quietly. He took my hand gingerly into his and sandwiched it between both of his. His hands were rough and calloused, yet warm and comforting.

"I'm willing in if you are Bella." He said simply. My mouth went dry. Was this really happening?

"Okay." I said simply. Zach squealed and started jumping up and down excitedly.

"Oh this is too good to be true! It's so perfect, I mean you guys like each other any way so it's all good!" He squealed. My face got red and hot at what he said. Was I that obvious? I glanced over at Trent to see his cheeks were a little red too. Did he really like me back? Was I blind or something?

"Come on you two, let's go tell the others! Ohhhhh Ayden is going to be so mad." Zach snorted. I shook my head at him. Trent stood up, pulling me with him as he was still holding my hand.

"Are we telling them everything?" I asked nervously. Zach froze, about to open the door. He turned to look at me sympathetically.

"I think we should." He said. Trent gave my hand a comforting squeeze.

"It'll be alright, we got your back Bella." He said smiling. Zach nodded and then charged out of the room. Trent leaned down and kissed my temple making me blush more. "You'll be okay." He said sweetly. I smiled at him before he started leading me out of Zach's room.

When we got down stairs Zach was standing in the middle of the room with everyone seated around him. When we walked in everyone's gaze slipped to us, and then down to our connected hands. I could see Ayden's expression harden. I moved a little closer to Trent who squeezed my hand comfortingly.

"Bella, Trent, Zach says you guys are dating now to keep some crazy family away?" Asked Astrid confusedly. I sighed. I pulled Trent over to the couch and sat down with him.

"Yeah. I guess I have some explaining to do." I said glancing around the room.

"When I first moved here to Forks last year there was a family called the Cullens. And I fell in love with their youngest son Edward."


	13. Chapter 13

The way they were all staring at me was unnerving. I could tell they pitied me, felt sorry for me. But I wished they wouldn't. I didn't want that. That is not why I told them. I told them so they were aware. I told them so they would know and would be able to help me come school on Monday. I told them so they would know why Trent and I decided to start dating. Of course I didn't tell them that I really did like Trent and, judging from his blushing up in Zach's room, he like me too. I also didn't tell them the Cullen secret. I couldn't. I wasn't even supposed to know. Humans in general weren't supposed to know. I was afraid though that one of the Cullen's would go crazy vampire on one of the Sterling McCaffrey's.

"Bella I'm so sor-" Sage started.

"Don't. Don't say it." I said holding up my hand. "I really don't want anyone to pity me and I really don't want anyone to apologize for what they did. What I want is them to leave me alone. That's all. But since Alice has already come to visit I'm willing to bet getting them to leave me alone is easier said them done." I said. Trent shifted beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me tight into his side.

"It'll be okay Bella. We'll help you out." He said. There was a general sense of agreement from the rest in the form of nodding and quiet affirmations. I smiled.

"Thanks guys." I said settling into Trent. I glanced at Zach who was smiling widely at me I could tell he was really enjoying seeing me with Trent. I glanced at Ayden who was beside Zach and he didn't look happy in the least. He was currently burning holes in the floor with his angry glare. If looks could kill Trent would be dead when he told everyone that we were now dating. The look Ayden gave him was murderous. Another of Ayden's casualties would have been Zach when he told everyone it was his idea. I felt like if I actually piped in with the fact that Trent and I really did like each other Ayden's head would explode killing everyone on site.

"Okay so…" Astrid started. We all looked at her. "Why don't we do something other than sit here and stare at one another. There's nothing any of us can do right now for Bella." She said. I smiled. I was glad for Astrid, she was trying to take the focus off of me.

"Like what?" Asked Trent. Astrid smirked at him.

"You could play your guitar for us." She said. I smiled and looked up at him. He didn't look happy about the suggestion. His body was stiff and he was frowning. "From what I hear you haven't played for anyone in a really long time." She said.

"That's right. I don't play much anymore." He said. My smile fell. He glanced down at me. When he saw my frown he lowered his gaze.

"Come on." I said quietly, trying to plead with him. He shook his head.

"Oh go on Trent. Bella hasn't ever heard you play." Said Brenna. Trent shook his head.

"He hasn't played in while maybe he's afraid he'll suck." Said Ayden, finally looking up from the floor. He had a smirk on his face. Trent rolled his eyes.

"You're probably right; I'm really out of practice Ay." Ayden's smirk fell, he must not have expected Trent to agree with his supposed insult.

"Well fine if you're going to be right back I have the next best thing. Everyone stay here." Said Astrid. She jumped up off the couch and ran out of the room.

"What does she mean? Next best thing?" I asked.

"I think I know." Trent said sighing, letting his fall onto the back of the couch. A minute later Astrid came running into the living room a CD jewel case in hand. She walked over to the DVD player and popped in, turning the TV to the right channel. She grabbed the remote and walked over to sit by Zach again. She pressed play and then upped the volume.

The first shot was a pair of feet in a pair of beet up old black converse walking on a snowy side walk. There was laughing in the back ground.

"Stop filming your feet and give me the camera dude." Said an unfamiliar male voice. There was more laughing and the camera jostled as it changed hands. It swung around a busy street before landing on Trent. He looked so different then he did now. He had shoulder length bleached dread locks, a black bandana folded up like a head band kept them out of his face. He had a silver ring in his nose; all his earrings were accounted for. He was wearing all black, a peat coat, what looked like a beater, and jeans. He was extremely pale with dark circles under his eyes. He looked tired and kind of sickly.

"Come on man! Where's that smile that all the ladies swoon over?" Said the male voice. Trent laughed and smiled. When he did he looked like the Trent I knew. Him smiling in the video made me smile. I glanced at Trent, the one sitting beside me. He had a slight frown on his face. I nudged him and when he looked down at me I smiled. I felt him relax a little and he smiled back.

"Shut up Jamie!" I heard the video Trent say. So this voice belonged to Jamie? The man who got Trent into drugs. The man who taught Trent how to play guitar. The man who snuck Trent drugs in rehab. The man whose voice Trent heard telling him to off himself.

"Come on man come on we don't got all day!" Jamie said. Trent laughed again.

"Okay okay!" Trent said clearing his throat. "Hey Astrid it's me Trent your favorite cousin! You asked me to send you a CD of me playing my music. Well I'm doing you one better by sending you a DVD. My camera man is Jamie if you haven't heard me say already. He taught me everything I know." Trent said. The camera moved a little and now Jamie was standing beside Trent with his arm slung around his shoulders, holding the camera out in front of them to keep filming.

"That's fucking right! And he's already way better than I am!" Said Jamie laughing. I studied Jamie. He had long blond hair that hung slightly unkempt around his face. He had bright blue eyes and an infectious smile. His clothes were ratty and hard worn. But he didn't look like a drug addict or a bad guy, he looked normal enough.

"So Astrid Jamie and I are in a band together called Feel Good." Started Trent, Jamie interrupted.

"As in we like ta'. Feel good that is." He said laughing, making the camera jiggle a little. Video Trent rolled his eyes and pushed Jamie away from him. Jamie went back behind the camera again. I glanced around the room to see everyone else's reaction to what Jamie had said. They were all frowning. So I wasn't the only one that caught what Jamie meant. I glanced at Trent again to see him rolling his eyes just like he did on the video. Both Trent's had slight smiles on their faces.

"Yeah yeah. Anyway. We're waiting for the rest of the band to get here because we have a set to play here at the lovely Street Dweller's Club in Greenwich Village." Trent said smiling. Jamie panned to the club and it looked dirty and kind of old, and there were some punk looking people in the doorway. I heard Jamie snickering.

"Yeah it's right fucking lovely." He laughed. Trent laughed to. Jamie panned back over to Trent.

"Yeah but it's the best club ever for people like us!" Said Trent looking over the camera to presumably look at Jamie. In the background I heard a southern female drawl yell out.

"Jamie! Trent! We're here guys!" The camera panned over to a group of two girls and two guys. Trent bounded over to them, the camera following.

"Hey guys I'm making a video for my cousin. Jessi your still up for filming during the show right?" Trent asked.

"Of course sweet pea!" Said the shorter man. He had short brown hair and wire rimmed glasses. He wore a brown jacket and a stylish blue scarf. So this was Jessi? Everything about the guy screamed gay. He walked over to Trent and gave him a quick on the cheek before scrambling over to Jamie and snatching the camera. There was a lot of jostling and yelling.

"I can do it Jamie just let Ms. J handle it!" Jessi yelled.

"No Jessi! That's the off button!" I heard Jamie yell before the screen went black. Trent laughed beside me and then coughed. I noticed everyone else smile a little when Trent laughed.

The picture came back in a dimly lit room. It was grimy and dirty and it was filled with people. There was an audience of miss matched misfits in front of a small stage. The camera swung around to reveal Jessi and one of the girls from earlier. She had waist length black hair and bright green eyes and she was smiling big. Her teeth were a little gross. Was this what Trent meant when he said meth mouth?

"Hey Astrid! I'm Jessi. Trent had to go back stage. This here beside me is Anna, Trent's girlfriend." Jessi exclaimed. So this was the girl Trent lost his virginity to. Anna punched him on the arm.

"He's not my boyfriend!" She exclaimed. Jessi rolled his eyes.

"Yeah right." Jessi said turning back to the camera. "I guess you already saw Jamie. The other guy in the band is David, he's my man! And I'm not ashamed to say it." Said Jessi, looking pointedly at Anna. She just rolled her eyes. "The only girl in the band is Blake. Oh look! It's starting!" Jessi exclaimed. He whipped the camera around toward the stage. I saw Jamie and Trent were already on stage; Blake and David were just stepping out. David was tall and thin with tan skin. He moved to sit behind the drum set. Blake walked over to a stand picked up a big blue bass. Jamie and Trent were pulling on electric guitars. Trent stepped up to the mic.

"Hey guys what's up? We're Feel Good." He said said. The crowd went nuts. I heard a lot of screams of I love you Trent. I glanced at my Trent to see him roll his eyes again.

"Yeah I love you too baby." Trent said snarkily, trying not to laugh. "Why don't we do this huh? Let's all Feel Good!" he yelled into the mic. I laughed a little as did everyone else.

"You're not serious." I said looking up at Trent. He shrugged.

"Front men have been known to have catch phrases." I laughed.

"Name one." I said.

"Shhh watch the TV." He said smiling and turning my head back towards the screen. I shook my head to get his hand off of it.

The band kicked into a fast song, full of loud guitar riffs and heavy back beats from bass drum and bass guitar. Trent was banging his head in time to the music, his dread swinging everywhere. He then walked up to the mic and started to sing. He was actually pretty good.

"Throw your dollar bills and leave your thrills all here with me  
And speak but don't pretend I won't defend you anymore you see  
It aches in every bone, I'll die alone, but not for you  
My eyes don't need to see that ugly thing, I know it's me you fear  
If you want me hold me back

Frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail  
And so we go back to the remedy  
Clip the wings that get you high, just leave them where they lie  
And tell yourself, "you'll be the death of me"

I don't need a friend, I need to mend so far away  
So come sit by the fire and play a while, but you can't stay too long  
It aches in every bone, I'll die alone, but not for pleasure  
I see my heart explode, it's been eroded by the weather here  
If you want me hold me back

Frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail  
And so we go back to the remedy  
Clip the wings that get you high, just leave them where they lie  
And tell yourself, "You'll be the death of me"  
Frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail  
And so we go back to the remedy  
Clip the wings that get you high, just leave them where they lie  
And tell yourself, "You'll be the death of me"

Hold your eyes closed, take me in  
Hold your eyes closed, take me in

Frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail  
And so we go back to the remedy  
Clip the wings that get you high, just leave them where they lie  
And tell yourself, "You'll be the death of me"  
Frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail  
And so we go back to the remedy  
Clip the wings that get you high, just leave them where they lie  
And tell yourself, "You'll be the death of me.""

As good as the song sounded I could tell the song was about doing drugs. If Trent's family had ever heard him play they would have caught on a lot sooner to what he was doing. He was basically throwing it in everyone's faces that he was doing drugs.

The camera whipped around again to Jessi.

"So that song is called Remedy, it's one of my favorites that Trent wrote. Unfortunately the bands set it really short because they're just the openers so they have two more songs." Said Jessi frowning. The camera moved back to the stage as the band started up again. Trent was strumming hard on his guitar, Jamie was facing him head banging as he played. Trent jumped up to the mic.

"He wears his heart safety pinned to his backpack  
His backpack is all that he knows  
Shot down by strangers  
Whose glances can cripple  
The heart and devour the soul

All alone he turns to stone  
While holding his breath half to death  
Terrified of what's inside  
To save his life  
He crawls like a worm from a bird  
(ALL ALONE)  
Crawls like a worm from a bird

Out of his mind  
The weight pushes him whispering  
Must have been out of his mind  
Mid-day delusions  
of pushing this out of his head  
Maybe out of his mind  
(Out of his mind)

All alone he turns to stone  
While holding his breath half to death  
Terrified of whats inside  
To save his life  
He crawls like a worm  
Crawls like a worm from a bird  
(ALL ALONE)  
(ALL ALONE)  
(Crawls like a worm from a bird)  
(Crawls like a worm)  
(Crawls like a worm from a bird)

All he knows  
If he can't relieve it it grows  
And so it goes  
He crawls like a worm  
Crawls like a worm from a bird

Out of his mind  
The weight pushes him whispering  
Must have been out of his mind

All alone he turns to stone  
While holding his breath half to death  
Terrified of whats inside  
To save his life  
He crawls like a worm from a bird

All alone  
He's holding his breath half to death  
(Holding his breath half to death)  
Terrified  
To save his life  
He crawls like a worm  
(CRAWLS LIKE A WORM)  
Crawls like a worm from a bird  
(ALL ALONE)  
Crawls like a worm from a bird  
(ALL ALONE)  
Crawls like a worm from a bird  
(ALL ALONE)  
Crawls like a worm  
Crawls like a worm  
Crawls like a worm from a bird."

I frowned. From the sound of this song Trent felt like he was all alone and running and hiding from something or everything even.

The camera came back to Jessi.

"That was Bird and the Worm, another one by Trent. The last one they are going to play is called All That I've Got." Jessi said smiling. The camera faced the stage again just as Trent started to sing.

"So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me  
Off guard, red handed  
Now I'm far from lonely  
Asleep I still see you lying next to me  
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I..

I need something else  
Would someone please just give me  
Hit me, knock me out  
And let me go back to sleep  
I can laugh  
All I want inside I still am empty  
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I...

I'll be just fine  
Pretending I'm not  
I'm far from lonely  
And it's all that I've got

I'll be just fine  
Pretending I'm not  
I'm far from lonely  
And it's all that I've got

I guess, I remember every glance you shot me  
Un-harmed, I'm losing weight and some body heat  
I squoze so hard  
I stopped your heart from beating  
So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me, I..

I'll be just fine  
Pretending I'm not  
I'm far from lonely  
And it's all that I've got

I'll be just fine  
Pretending I'm not  
I'm far from lonely  
And it's all that I've got

And it's all that I've got  
Yeah, it's all that I've got  
Yeah, It's all that I've got  
It's all that I've got  
It's all that I've got  
It's all that I've got!

So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me  
So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me

I'll be just fine  
Pretending I'm not  
I'm far from lonely  
And it's all that I've got

I'll be just fine  
Pretending I'm not  
I'm far from lonely  
And it's all that I've got

And it's all that I've got  
Yeah, it's all that I've got."

From the sounds of the song Trent was hurting a lot more then he was letting on.

"I'd like to dedicate that last song to my mother. Alright thank you guys! You've been great!" Trent yelled into the mic. So the song was about him mom? I glanced up at Trent who was looking at his feet. I slipped my hand into his and gave it a small squeeze. He looked at me. I could see his eyes were watery.

"It's okay." I whispered. He nodded and gave me a small smile. I turned my head back to the now black screen. As the picture came back up I felt rather than saw Trent give me a kiss on the cheek. I smiled as the video Trent started talking. He was walking backwards and a small amount of snow was falling around him. It was dark out and there were barely any people around.

"So Astrid, that was a small sampling of my music. To hear more I think you'll just have to come out to the Big Apple to hear it for yourself." Said Trent laughing. The other laughed around him. None of them were facing the camera they were all walking facing forward. Judging by what little I had seen of them I was guessing that David was holding the camera now.

"Hey Trent man you rocked extra hard tonight." Came Anna's voice, she looked over at him as he walked back wards beside her.

"Why thank you." Trent said goofily, pretending to tip a hat to her. They all laughed.

"Dude I almost cried when you dedicated the last song to your momma." Came a deep voice from behind the camera. Trent rolled his eyes as everyone laughed.

"Shut up it's not funny." Trent said seriously.

"Yeah man we know." Jamie said, grabbing Trent's shoulder and turning him so he was walking the right way. "Let's go we got stuff to do, so bye bye to Astrid." Jamie laughed. Trent laughed half heartedly.

"Yeah we got go Feel Good!" Bellowed David, the camera started shaking and bouncing up and down like he was jumping with it or something. The rest of the group laughed. Trent glanced over his shoulder uncaringly. He had a look on his face that said his mind was no elsewhere.

"See ya Astrid. I've got some uh…score's to settle." He said nonchalantly. He tossed an arm around Anna as they all laughed. The camera cut out, going black as Jessi started to say something.

Everyone in the room was quiet. I glanced at Trent who had his head resting on the back of the couch again. Everyone was looking at him. Astrid got up quietly and took the DVD out of the player.

"See Bella, he's awesome. Tell him he should play more." She said trying to lighten the mood. I turned to him and smiled.

"You really should." I said. He smiled and looked down at me.

"Maybe." He said.

"So Trent when you said you had a score to settle…" Ayden started, drifting off.

"What Ayden?" Trent asked defensively.

"Did you mean…" He started again.

"Did I mean what?" Trent asked frowning. I knew what Ayden was getting at and so did Trent. He just wanted to hear him say it. Ayden glanced at me. He most likely thought that I didn't know.

"Say it man. Say it. Was I going to get high? Yeah I was." Trent said angrily.

"Relax." I said. He did so instantly. He turned to me and whispered to me.

"We filmed this the night dad and Angela caught me coming in late. This was the night before they found out about my habit." He said softly. He seemed regretful and sad as he said this.

"It's okay. It's the past." I said. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Thank you." He said, leaning his forehead against mine.

"Your welcome." I mumbled.

"Alright you two, what are you whispering to one another!" Zach said. I looked up to see him smirking at us.

"Oh wouldn't you like to know!" Said Trent laughing.

"Yeah I would!" Zach said playfully. The tense air was gone. Leave it to Zach to make everything better.

"To bad!" I said laughing. Zach got a serious look on his face.

"Are you keeping secrets from me Bella! Your lover? Your better run Bella I'll get ya!" Zach said bolting out of his spot. I jumped up and he proceeded to chase me around the living room, everyone was laughing their heads off. Thank god for the distraction that is Zach Attack. I caught a glimpse of Trent as I ran by. He was looking at me and Zach greatfully. He almost looked relieved. I caught a glimpse of Ayden and he was frowning. He was most likely upset that I didn't jump on Trent about the drugs. He probably didn't think I knew. Well oh well Ayden. I know. And I'm not going anywhere. I'm sticking by Trent just like I know he will stick by me.


	14. Chapter 14

"I have a headache and I think I might vomit." I said leaning forward in my seat so my head was between my knees. I was currently sitting in the front passenger seat of the Sterling McCaffreys van. Since all of us couldn't fit into Sage's car Angela had let us take her van to school. Brenna giggled from the seat directly behind mine. I felt her reach over my seat and pat my back.

"It'll be okay Bella we're all here for you." She said reassuringly. "Just take a few deep breaths." She said while withdrawing her hand. I nodded and did as I was told, taking deep breaths but not lifting my head up. I felt the van turn and new by the way we were slowing down that we were in the school parking lot. I felt the van turn again and then stop, Sage putting the van in park. I heard the doors open and close, the van rattling a little with the force of it. I shivered when my door was suddenly opened and the chilled morning air hit me. I felt a large warm hand on my back. I was startled slightly when someone's warm smoky breath washed across my face as he whispered by my ear.

"Come on Bella, you can do this." Trent whispered to me. I sighed and slowly picked my head up from where it was resting between my knees. I looked at him skeptically. He smiled and laughed at my expression which of course turned into a cough.

"Lay off the cigarettes." I mumbled reaching down for my back pack before sliding out of my seat. He snorted and shut the door behind me.

"Easier said than done. You know I'm trying." He said quietly to me.

"I know." I said. I looked around to see the others waiting for us by the trunk of the car. Trent gently took my hand in his, lacing his fingers with mine. I took a deep breath that was supposed to be calming as we approached his family.

"You're looking a little pale dear." Said Zach reaching out to rub the back of my head. "Everything will be alright, don't you worry." As he said this the volume in the parking lot dropped. I looked around to see why everyone had gotten quiet but I think I already knew what it was. I watched quietly as a silver Volvo pulled into the parking lot and parked by the main building. Everyone started to whisper as the Cullen's stepped out of the car. I could feel people looking at me as well, trying to gauge my reaction. I knew, judging, by my friends reactions that I was even paler than before. That's because I was mortified by this situation. We had a game plan but I was still so scared of today.

"Come on guys let's go." Said Ayden, he gestured for us to follow him and we did. We walked into the school, the Sterling McCaffreys forming a tight circle around me. When we got into the building we moved off to the side to let other people through.

"Okay so we know the plan. Zach will walk Bella to her first class, English, because it's on the way." Said Ayden.

"Right and then Brenna will grab Bella and take her to her Calc class because their classes are right next to each other. Brenna you'll take her to her Spanish class as well right?" Zach asked. Brenna nodded.

"Yeah of course I will. But my third class isn't near her Spanish class. Do you think you can walk to lunch by yourself Bella? It'll be the only time you'll be alone today." Brenna said.

"Yeah I can do it." I said smiling at her.

"Good. And then I take you to Bio because we're both in that class." Ayden said.

"Right and then Sage will walk you to history after that and then I take you to Gym because we both have that class." Said Trent giving my hand a light squeeze.

"And then we go home!" Said Sage smiling. I smile back.

"Right, well, it sounds easy but we'll see." I said. They all nodded. The bell rang and everyone started to disperse. Trent turned to me and whispered in my ear. His warm breath on my ear making me shiver.

"Text me if you need me." He whispered. I could smell his comforting smell of cigarette smoke on his breath, it made me relax a little.

"Okay." I mumbled. He kissed my temple and then walked off, glancing over his shoulder one last time to throw me a smile. Zach shook his head and pulled me along to class.

Normally I wouldn't find the smell of smoke comforting but with Trent it just works. It's a part of him, however bad a habit it is. His smell is a mix of smoke and the musky axe spray he likes to wear. It's amazing. It's nothing like Edwards flower sugary sweet smell. Which I must say, is a good thing.

"Hello earth to Bella!" Zach yelled, waving his hand in front of my face.

"Huh?" I breathed out, turning to look at him.

"I said we're here silly. You've got it bad don't you?" He said playfully. I rolled my eyes.

"_Goodbye_ Zachary." I said gritting my teeth. Zach mimed clawing the air like a cat and made a hissing noise.

"Touchy!" He said. I laughed at him and shook my head.

"That's what I was looking for. Have a good class I'll see you at lunch…_Isabella_." He said. He ran before I could hit him for calling me by my full name. It was probably pay back for calling him Zachary. I rolled my eyes yet again as I walked into class. I quietly took my seat beside Mike and did my best to ignore him. He was trying to get my attention as best her could. He was trying to talk to me about the return of the Cullen's and Trent. I knew it would spread like wildfire that I was now with Trent. Brenna and Sage had made sure to mention it to Jessica in the parking lot before we came into the school. We wanted to make sure that the Cullen's heard so maybe there would be a small chance that they would leave me alone. I didn't have any faith in that part of the plan. Mike was still trying to get answers out of me when the late bell rang. Luckily I didn't have to endure Mike's harassment for too long as the teacher came in and started class.

As soon as class was over I bolted out of my seat ignoring Mike completely. Unfortunately he grabbed my arm just outside of the classroom. I could see Brenna waiting for me a few feet away. I tried to send her a pleading glance for help but she was preoccupied talking to Ben Cheney.

"Bella wait. Stop ignoring me please. Just answer my questions would you?" He said a little forcefully. I pulled my arm from his grip.

"Mike I don't have to answer any of your questions, it's none of your business what goes on in my life." I mumbled to him. I glanced over his shoulder to see that Brenna had finally noticed how Mike has cornered me and was on her way over. But she stopped short, staring over my shoulder. I threw her a confused look. I had just noticed that Mike had gotten quiet. When I looked at him he was staring over my shoulder as well. Please don't be him already. I slowly turned my head and let out a small sigh of relief when I saw it wasn't Edward but Emmett. He slowly came up to me smiling. I almost smiled back. Emmett was like a big brother to me. But he too left me out to dry.

"Hey Bells." He said quietly. His hand reached out to pat my arm but it stopped short. He pulled his hand back like he thought better of it. Alice must have told all of them what happened when I found her in my house. "How are you?" He asked, looking down at the floor. I got the feeling that he felt ashamed of himself. I opened my mouth to answer but Brenna interrupted.

"Let's go Bella." She said icily. I looked up to see that Mike had gone and Brenna was in his place, glaring at Emmett. Emmett looked down at her sadly. I could feel his undead heart hurting. He was such a big teddy bear of a guy I figured leaving had hurt him just like it hurt me. I reached a hand out to Brenna. She looked at me and her eyes widened a little.

"Oh no you don't Bella. Just because he looks like a big sad cuddly bear don't get soft and forgive him." She said glaring at me now. "Don't forget what he did to you." She said icily. Wait…she must think he's Edward.

"Brenna this is Emmett." I mumbled not looking at her. She looked back at him and her glare softened a little.

"Oh I thought you were Edward." She mumbled. He shook his head. Her glare came back.

"You're still just as bad as he is." She said her boundaries now back up. Emmett had a way about him that made people loosen up; I could tell his sad puppy face was eating at her. The other day I had told them all that the only Cullen's I may remotely be willing to forgive would be Emmett and Jasper, my two big brothers. Emmett would have fought against leaving me tooth and nail. And Jasper would have known what leaving would do to me, he knew my feelings extremely well.

"Brenna." I said quietly. She sighed.

"Only Emmett and Jasper Bella. No one else." She said pointing a threatening finger in my face.  
"What?" Asked Emmett with a confused look on his face.

"I'll tell you later." I mumbled. The warning bell rang then and before he could respond Brenna grabbed me and started pulling to my next class.

"I mean it Bella. We all agreed it would be okay to talk to Jasper and Emmett because those two seem to be the only ones you were okay with when you told us about the Cullen's, but no one else. Got it?" She asked. I nodded. "He seemed genuine." She mumbled, her demeanor softening. I smiled and nodded. "Go to class." She said, practically pushing me into my Calc class as the bell rang. This class went by fast. I was nervous. I knew Emmett would be waiting for me as would Brenna as she was escorting me to my next class as well. When the bell rang I found I was right. Brenna and Emmett were actually talking to one another across from my Calc class near the water fountain. I walked up to them and I was instantly in one of Emmett's bone crushing hugs.

"Bells I'm so sorry. I fought leaving so hard. But nothing I said made a difference." He said quickly.

"Em I'm not going to say its okay because it's not. You all didn't need to leave like that." I said bitingly. He flinched. Despite my harsh words I pulled him closer. "Come here you big goof." I mumbled, burying my face in his broad cold chest. He chuckled and hugged me tighter.

"Brenna says you're willing to talk to me and Jasper. I'll tell the others that." He said quietly. I nodded to let him know I heard him. He sighed. He pulled away.

"You know they're not going to like this." He said. I narrowed my eyes.

"I don't care. Fuck the others!" I said angrily. His eyes got wide and then he started to laugh.

"Aw Bella's got a mouth on her now. I love it!" He exclaimed. I rolled my eyes. All of a sudden it felt like it used to be as he continued teasing me; it was like it was only yesterday they had been my family. But then I remembered it hadn't been yesterday. In fact it had been months and they had practically ripped my heart out when they left.

A few minutes later I found myself in my Spanish class. I sighed as I sunk down in my seat already ready for the class to be over. It has only been three classes and already I felt like it had been a lone day. Having the Cullen's back, having everyone whispering, has been hard on my nerves. I couldn't wait for this day to end.

**This chapter is a mess, I have no clue what I'm doing.**


	15. Chapter 15

That first day had been murder for me. Emmett had kept his promise and told the others that I didn't want anything to do with them except for Jasper and himself. I had managed relatively well to avoid them all. I mean sure I had felt them watching me but for the most part they kept their distance.

At lunch that day they had had to find a new table to sit at as we occupied their old one. Ayden and Zach had a good laugh at that. Their new table though wasn't all that far from ours. And from where I was sitting I had a clear view of Edward. All lunch I tried avoiding looking at him but the few one time I did look at him he was staring at me intensely. Trent told me later that Edward had stared at me the entire period.

After lunch it was Ayden's turn to walk with me to class seeing as we both had biology. When we got to the classroom and sat down I realized something.

"_Ayden?" I said. He turned to me, looking questioningly at me. "Edward used to be my lab partner. He was in this class. What if they gave him his old schedule? What if he's in this class again?" I asked starting to panic. Ayden turned fully towards me and placed his hands on my shoulders._

"_Relax, you need to relax Bella. I'm here. I'm not going to let anything happen. You're my friend and I'm going to take care of you." He said. I started to calm down and he turned back to the front. "Besides if I didn't Trent would probably kill me." He said almost as an afterthought. I laughed as he smirked. But his smirk dropped when my laugh cut off abruptly. Edward had just walked in and he was looking directly at me. Ayden glanced from me to him and scowled. Edward didn't even spare him a glance. I scooted my chair so I was closer to Ayden and leaned into his arm. Edward's eyes finally flicked to Ayden and scowled back at him. Ayden snorted and whispered to me._

"_I think I've made him mad somehow." _

"_He was really over protective and kind of jealous and selfish when it came to me. He never liked sharing me all that much." I mumbled back. Edward's gaze hardened as he looked from Ayden to me and back again. Finally he was distracted from us by Mr. Banner who had just come into the room._

_Since his old seat had been taken by Ayden Edward was given a desk by himself directly behind us. It was the only open desk in the room. The entire period I could feel his eyes burning into me from behind. And the entire period I never stopped leaning on Ayden for support. To my relief Ayden didn't try anything. I knew he liked me but I think he respected his brother enough to lay off and I think he respected me enough to not make our current situation with Edward worse._

_I was so happy when that period was over. Sage was waiting for me outside the classroom and she whisked me quickly off to History when I told her Edward was in my Bio class. History went smoothly enough and I was able to distract myself with the lecture. But I was still really happy when it was over because Trent was waiting for me when I got out. We went to gym together and I finally felt relaxed and at ease. Normally gym wouldn't do that to me but with Trent there I felt the best I had all day._

It was now Friday. I had managed to go all week without any real confrontation from the Cullens. I was still talking to Emmett. He told me Alice didn't want Jasper to talk to me if she couldn't. She didn't think it was very fare. She thought I should talk to her too. Jasper tracked me down anyway though and has been talking to me covertly ever since. Him and Emmett sometimes turned it into a James Bond type mission, both of them trying to act stealthy, wearing shades and sometimes even creeping around corners. Emmett told me he was thinking about getting us walkie talkies to carry around to make it like a real mission.

Edward had yet to approach me, although he constantly stared at me. Emmett and Jasper told me they had warned him to stay away. They had told him Trent and I were dating and that I wanted nothing to do with him. But he still stared; it made me really uneasy because I couldn't tell what he was thinking or planning. Sometimes I wished he would just talk to me so I could tell him to fuck off in person.

I was glad it was Friday though. Today was the day I was going to therapy with Trent. He had invited me to go with him when we took our little trip to Seattle on Saturday.

We both left the gym hand in hand laughing about something Lauren and Jessica had said to him. When we got to the parking lot I heard my name being called.

"Bella! Bells!" It was Emmett. He ran over to me. "Hey Bells."  
"Hey Emmett." I said. I glanced around him and saw Alice holding heavily to Jaspers hand, he looked at me apologetically.

"She's so got his balls in her purse." I said to Emmett. He and Trent laughed hard at that. I looked at them together. The two of them were actually on pretty good terms. In fact Jasper and Emmett were on pretty good terms with all of the Sterling McCaffreys.

"So where you two going?" Emmett asked as he walked us to my truck.

"Seattle." Answered Trent.

"You gonna get more mods Bella?" Asked Emmett. Farther behind Emmett I saw Edward perk up and scowl at Emmett. After I told Emmett and Jasper how my tattoo and piercing came to be they had told the rest of the family. Jasper then told me that Edward hated the tattoo and piercing, to which I responded with a big I don't fucking care.

"Maybe." I said shrugging. Trent looked at me hopefully. "We gotta get going Em. We'll see you Monday." I said grabbing Trent's hand and pulling him the last few feet to the truck.

"Do you want to get more mods?" Asked Trent smirking at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Here you're driving." I said tossing my keys at him.

"Is that a yes?" He asked as I climbed into the cab and he walked around to the other side.

"No." I said.

"So it's a no?"

"No." I said smiling.

"Then what!" Asked Trent exasperatedly. When I looked over at him he was smiling. I rolled my eyes.

"Drive would you? Don't want to be late." I said. He sighed as he turned on the car and pulled out, heading for Seattle.


	16. Chapter 16

It felt like all of my senses were on high alert as I sat there waiting. I could smell the strong coffee that was brewing across the room for waiting patients, I could taste the nicotine on my tongue as I licked my lips, I could hear the slow steady drip of the leaky water dispenser, the whir of the air in the vents, the groans and sputters of the pipes in the walls, the tap tap tap of the secretaries pencil as she absentmindedly stared at her computer screen, and the creak of the chair I sat on as I shifted uncomfortably. I leaned forward slightly so as to unstick my back from the vinyl, my sweat had adhered me to it. Why was I so nervous? I glanced over at the beautiful girl beside me. She was calmly reading a coffee stained month old magazine, her legs crossed and her posture at ease. How was she not nervous? If the positions were switched and I was in her shoes I would be freaking out. As it was I was already freaking out. How was she keeping so calm? This was scary, at least for me it was. I had never shared this with anyone before, not even my parents. Sure they ask me what Dr. Moscovitz and I talk about but I never tell them.

I had told Bella my story last weekend. She knew more than a lot of people did about me. But still I was afraid if she heard what Dr. M and I talked about she would change how she saw me. I was afraid she wouldn't like me anymore. I was afraid she would think I was crazy. Just then a car horn blared outside and I jumped badly in my seat, the vinyl cracking unpleasantly. Bella looked over at me laughing a little.

"Are you alright there jumpy?" She asked teasingly. I gave her a slight smile and forced my body to relax.

"Yeah I'm fine." I said chuckling. My chuckles turned into chest racking coughs as always. I placed a hand on my chest as I coughed, they always hurt so much. I really need to quit.

"Lay off the cigs." She said elbowing me. I shook my head as my convulsing body finally relaxed.

"I'm trying. You know I've cut way down." I said. She nodded.

"I know." She said taking my hand before turning back to her magazine. As she read I studied our connected hands. Our fingers were laced together, my hand on the bottom and hers on top. She had such small delicate fingers. Her skin was so soft and smooth. Her beautiful little hand was practically eaten up in my mammoth sized one. We were so contrasting. She was smooth and soft and I was calloused and hard. She was my perfect opposite and I loved it.

My eyes moved to her wrist where her new tattoo was healing up nicely. She had been such a trooper dealing with me that day. She had listened to me talk for hours and then she went a long with my harebrained body modification scheme. She was thoroughly assuaged through the whole day, although she told me later that she had been scared out of her mind when she was getting pierced and tattooed. I lightly ran my thumb over her wrist, feeling the thin lines of the half there scabbing stitching tattooed on her skin. After we got home that day I asked her if there was a reason she picked the stitching or it she was just a big Sally fan. She told me it represented putting herself back together after what Edward and his family did to her.

"Do you think you'll get this tattooed other places?" I asked her nodding at her wrist. She looked down at it then at me. She gave me a small smile.

"Maybe. I was thinking of getting it tattooed in the shape of an anatomically correct heart." She said.

"On your chest?" I asked raising my eyebrow at her. I tried not to laugh when she blushed.

"Maybe." She said. I raised both eyebrows.

"I'd like to see that." I said leaning towards her. She blushed harder. To our right I heard a cough and looked up to see Dr. M staring at us. She was trying not to laugh at us. At the sight of the doctor Bella blushed even more. I glanced from the doc to Bella and realized Bella had thoroughly distracted me from how nervous I was.

"What's up doc?" I asked standing up and pulling Bella with me. Dr. M rolled her eyes.

"That never get's old Trent." She said sarcastically, Bella snickered. Dr. M turned her analyzing gaze on Bella who immediately quieted down. "And who's this?" She asked. I wrapped my arm around Bella and pulled her into my side.

"This is Bella my girlfriend." I said.

"You've been in school for two weeks and you already have a girlfriend." Said Dr. M. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Don't act like its news to you, I know Dad told you about her. I swear you two gossip way too much." I said. I turned to Bella. "Dr. M is actually my godmother. My dad and Dr. M have been best friends since high school. She keeps the doctor patient confidentiality though." I said. Bella nodded and turned to the good doctor.

"It's nice to meet you." Said Bella offering her hand to shake.

"I'm guessing you want her to sit in on your session?" Asked Dr. M as she shook Bella's hand. I nodded. "Alright, if you think you can handle that than let's go." She said turning and leading us to her office. As we walked Bella squeezed my hand tightly. I looked down at her to see she looked nervous now.

"You okay?" I asked softly. She nodded.

"Yeah, But she said it was okay if you could handle it. Are you sure?" She asked worriedly. I should have known she wasn't nervous. She was worried about me.

"I'm sure." I said. I lead her into the office and Dr. M shut the door behind us.

"Have a seat." She said gesturing to the couch up against the wall. I let go of Bella hand and walked over to the couch. I sat down on the left cushion and folded one leg under myself like I always did. I grabbed the pillow from behind me and sat it on my lap and started playing with the tassels on the end of it like I always did. Bella looked at me and I smiled nodding my head to the cushion beside me. She sank onto it and crossed her legs, leaning back. Again she looked so relaxed about it all. I wish I could. Now that we were in here I was a bundle of nerves again. Dr. M sat down across from us and picked up her yellow notepad. I stared at it. That notepad had everything about me written down on it. My entire life's trouble watered down to quick written notes in my god mother's chicken scratch.

"So Trent how have you been?" She started. I stared at her. I told Bella beforehand that we would probably treat this like a normal session and act like she wasn't there. I wanted her to see it how it really was. And already Dr. M was not disappointing me.

"What kind of question is that?" I asked raising my eyebrow at her. I always like antagonizing her a little, make her work for the head ache I always had after our sessions. She stared at me. I felt like her eyes were burning holes into me. Her look said don't mess with me. I snorted.

"Fine I guess." I said, finally giving up our staring contest and giving in. She wrote my answer down as she always did. I said the same thing every time she asked. She should just write it down before I come into the office, save herself the trouble.

"You guess? Well that's a little obscure. Let's talk a little more concretely. Last time we were discussing your tattoo idea. Did you get it, the one of your mother?" She asked.

"Yes I did." She raised her eyebrow; I knew what she was thinking. "Dad didn't tell you because he doesn't know." I said.

"Why didn't you tell your dad?" She asked writing down some notes. I didn't answer. She looked up at me waiting.

"I don't know." I said shrugging look down at my hands which were still fiddling with the tassels on the pillow.

"Did you think he would be upset? I noticed you got your tongue pierced, I saw it when you were talking. Did you think that would upset him enough that he didn't need a tattoo sprung on him too, even if it is of Grace?" She asked. I noticed out of the corner of my eye Bella perk up. I never told her my mother's name before. Her name was very fitting. My mother was the most graceful and elegant person I ever met.

"Yeah I suppose." I said looking up. "I mean he really doesn't like piercings. But tattoos don't bother him all that much, but it's really big. I'm afraid he'll freak out." I said.

"Why would he do that? You've done worse to your body Trent." She said appraisingly.

"I know, I know. I just don't want to upset him anymore. I mean it's my body so if I really want a piercing or tattoo I'm going to get it but at the same time when he gets upset about it I feel a little guilty." She nodded.

"I understand. I think you need to tell him." She said. "Promise me you'll do that when you go home. I think he'll surprise you." She said giving me a small smile. I liked having my god mother as my doctor. She was able to help me and give me insight a little bit better because she knew me and my family well. Some people might argue it's unprofessional but I don't care. "So, speaking of things you have done to your body." She began. I felt my stomach twist, I hadn't told Bella about this. I knew where this was going. I always hated this part. "You've been very good since you got out of rehab back in September. Your tests keep coming back negative." She said. Again I noticed Bella out of the corner of my eye. She was probably wondering about the tests. Every few weeks a random drug test was sprung on me. It was part of this practices rules for recovering drug addicts in therapy.

"Well yeah." I said like it was obvious. I could tell she was trying not to roll her eyes at me.

"But your still doing a drug aren't you? Smoking?" She asked. I snorted.

"I don't consider that a drug." I said.

"But it is. It's highly addictive, you know that."

"Yeah yeah. If it makes you feel better I've been trying to quit. I've cut down a lot in the last two weeks." I said shooting my first glance of the session at Bella. I saw Dr. M's look of understanding. I was doing it for Bella.

"Good good." She said taking note again on her pad. When she was done she looked up at me. "Do you remember what else we talked about last time?" She asked.

"What is this, a quiz? No not really." I said cheekily. She frowned. I knew that look. We were going to get to the heavy shit now. So far she had been letting me coast in this session. She flipped back a page and started telling me what we had talked about.

"Last time we talked about. Your mom's, school anxiety, and your nightmares and cravings." She said looking up at me and letting the page drop back down. "Let's start with your mom's." She said.

"Well uh Angela and I spent some time together this week. I told her what you said about getting that bonding time in so we did." I said.

"What did you do?" She asked. I looked up at her.

"We sat in the backyard and I played my guitar for her and sang. She's always really liked that. She told me when I closed my eyes and really got into it that I reminded her of my mother." I said.

"How did that make you feel?" Asked Dr. M. I glared at the pillow in my hands. I always hated that question.

"At first I liked it. I love my mom. I feel close to her when I play music. The other day with Angela was the first time in a long time that I had played. I felt like I was reconnecting to her." I said.

"At first?" She questioned. I looked up at her, my face hard.

"Yeah at first. After a minute I remembered what my issue was with her in the first place. How can you marry your dead best friend's husband? I still don't understand that. It feels like betrayal. I mean don't get me wrong. I love her a lot. She's has done a lot for me, I probably wouldn't be there without her. But it still bothers me." I said.

"Did you tell her that?" She asked. I nodded, lowering my gaze again. My face softened as I thought about mine and Angela's talk.

"Yeah we did. We talked about a lot of things, not just that. We talked about when I was younger when dad brought her home for the first time. And when they announced they were getting married." I said.

"The start of your problems." Dr. M observed. I nodded as she wrote.

"She feels bad about it. Which wasn't my intention at all. I set that straight right away. I love Angela a lot. I made sure she knew that. I'm glad I talked to her, I needed to talk to her." I said looking up at Dr. M. She nodded.

"It sounds like talking to her lifted a little weight off your shoulders." She said.

"It really did."

"Well. What about your school anxiety. Last time we saw each other you said you were very nervous about school. Although it seems like your worries were for nothing." She said glancing at Bella. "You already have a girlfriend so it can't be that bad." She said smiling. But instead of agreeing with her I frowned and shook my head.

"No." I said.

"What do you mean no?" She asked.

"Bella's the only good thing about school. I hate school it makes me my cravings worse." I said. I tried not to look at Bella. I had never told her that. "Every time I walk into that school I wish I was high. Even though I know it's not the same school that I was going to back in New York as soon as I get near it I start craving. On school grounds is where I smoke the most, even though we're not supposed to. School was so much easier to deal with when I was fucked up. I could just coast through it all and not feel a damn thing. Now every time I walk through those doors I feel anxious and self conscious. I feel like everyone is whispering and pointing, like they know all about me and are judging me. I get so paranoid. I know it's all not true but it still drives me insane. My anxiety gets so bad after an hour or two of being there that I have to go to the nurse and ask her for one of my anxiety pills and stay there until my attack has subsided. I swear to god I came so close the other day to just skipping out of school and going home and curling up in my bed and smoking myself to death. I don't want to leave the house." I said staring at the pillow.

"School makes you want to use Trent?" Dr. M asked. I look up at her seriously.

"Yes." I said keeping my eyes on her. I couldn't look at Bella, I couldn't see her reaction.

"Have you?" Dr. M asked.

"No." I said. She gave me a small 'I'm proud of you' smile.

"Good. I know this is hard but it does sound like you are handling things. I'm sure you will get used to going to school sober. Lean on your family and Bella for support. And try to make friends outside of them as well. Assimilating into the school more could make you feel better." She said.

"I have made other friends." I said thinking of Emmett and Jasper. "But they are part of the problem." I said.

"Oh?" She looked confused.

"Well…not them really it's their brother." I heard Bella sigh. I think she knew I would get to this. Our problem with Edward has been eating away at me and she knows it.

"Tell me about their brother." Dr. M.

"Well his name is Edward and he's Bella's ex- boyfriend." I started. Dr. M nodded she could probably tell where this was going. "He broke Bella when he broke up with her. His family moved away for a little and then came back. They all left without a word of good bye and now that they're back they expected for everything to go back to normal. It's November! You can't leave in September and then come back thinking everything is going to be okay. He wants to be back with her so badly. He stares at her all the time. He's in a class with her and Ayden and he told me that Edward has tried talking to her when she's told him through Emmett and Jasper to leave her alone. Me and my brother and sisters take turns walking her to class so she'll never be caught alone with him. Emmett told me he's obsessed with her to the point where it's unhealthy. He scares me." I said quietly. Dr. M nodded.

"What scares you about him?" She asked.

"I'm afraid he's going to do something to Bella if she keeps refusing him. From what I've been told by Jasper and Bella those two were seriously in love. They were together all the time. She spent the night over there, was best friends with his sister Alice, who is being a totally bitch by the way; she went to family events with him. They did everything together. They loved each other, which is why I can't understand how he could leave her the way he did. He was cruel!" I said angrily. I saw Bella flinch beside me. This had to be hard for her. "I'm also afraid," I started quietly, "that she will start feeling hoe she did about him before he left and go back to him. Bella and I started dating because I, she, and Zach thought if Edward saw that she moved on he would leave her alone. It was a plan of protection for her. I asked her to be my girlfriend. But it wasn't because of the plan. I really like her. I knew I liked her the minute she saved me from these hoochies at school. I've told her more things about me then I've ever told anyone. Well besides you and Jak." I said.

"Have you spoken to Jak lately?" She said interrupting me.

"No." I said.

"Maybe you should call her." She suggested. I nodded.

"I will. I've been afraid to call her because she's going to yell at me for losing touch." I said.

"When was the last time you talked to her?" Asked Dr. M who was writing furiously. I shrugged.

"Our first week in Washington I think." She looked up at me.

"Call her." She said.

"I will."

"And as for your problems with this boy, Edward was it?" She asked. I nodded. "I don't think you need to worry about Bella leaving you Trent. I watched you two out in the lobby. You can't really see it but the way she looks at you is like you've hung the stars in the sky. Have a little more faith in her and yourself. As for him doing something to her, I think what you're doing is going to set him off." I was about to speak but she held up her hand. "I know you want to protect her. From what your dad told me she has been assimilated into your family. I know for a fact Zach is crazy for her, when I talked to him the other day he would not shut up about her." She said. I smiled about that. Zach was crazy about Bella; she's the best friend he's ever had. "But I think what needs to be done is you all need to let Bella talk to him and his family." She said now looking at Bella as well. "I think singling out Jasper and Emmett has angered him. He wants to talk to you Bella. You may tell him the same things his brothers have been telling him but I think he needs to hear it from you." She said. I finally looked at Bella on for the first time since the session began. She nodded. She looked like she was really thinking hard about what Dr. M was saying.

"Well. You two will let me know how that goes?" Dr. M asked as she wrote on her pad.

"Yeah." I mumbled. I didn't like that plan of action at all. But I knew we would do it. Every time Dr. M recommended something I did it because she was usually right. But this time it would be Bella who going to be doing what she said.

"Well then let's move on Trent." She said turning her attention back to me. It was just me and her again.

"Your nightmares." She said in a straight forward way. I looked down again. I could feel myself becoming tenser than I already was. This was usually when I developed the headache I left with. I hunched over, almost collapsing in on myself. I turned my head away from both women.

"Can we not?" I asked quietly, leaning sideways on the arm of the couch for support.

"They've gotten worse haven't they?" She asked ignoring my request.

"Please Dr. M." I pleaded in a small voice.

"Trent you need to talk about them." She said with a little more force.

"I can't." I said still not looking at her, my voice was almost non existent. I could feel my eyes pricking and I blinked a few times. I was not going to cry not in front of Bella. I could feel a familiar tightness in the back of my head, like my scalp was retracting and all my hair was standing on end, and then came the pressure that came at the base of my skull. This is what it felt like when a panic attack was coming on. I could feel my hands shaking so I hid them under the pillow and clenched them tightly between my legs which unfortunately didn't do much as they were shaking too.

"Yes you can." Said Dr. M. I felt my tears start to escape down my face as I looked at her.

"I can't!" I said.

"Why?" She asked.

"I- I." I stuttered out. I glanced at Bella and then back at Dr. M.

"You're worried about Bella?" She asked. I nodded. I looked at Bella. She looked like she desperately wanted to reach out to me.

"I don't want you to think of me differently." I said my voice breaking. I saw a lone tear roll down her cheek. I reached a shaking hand out to wipe it away. She smiled at me. Her smile was like sun light in a dark cave. My hand steadied a little. "I don't want you to think I'm crazy or insane. I don't want you to change how you feel about me." I said.

"There is nothing you could say that would change that." She said softly, taking both my hands in hers.

"Trent?" Asked Dr. M. I looked at her. She had a warm look on her face after watching our interaction. "Now that she's said that can you tell me about your nightmares?" She asked. I pulled my hand from Bella and tucked back under the pillow between my legs. My heart had warmed at Bella's words but at the word nightmare I instantly felt cold again. I couldn't stop this paranoia. I had stopped crying but I was still shaking. I shook my head. I looked up at Dr. M.

"I can't, not yet. I'm sorry." I said looking from her to Bella. Bella put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay. I'll wait in the lobby okay?" She asked. I nodded but as she stood up I grabbed her hand. She turned to look at me. I pulled her down a little and kissed her before releasing her.

"Thank you." I said. She smiled at me and patted my cheek before leaving the room. As soon as she left I started bawling.

**Eat that. I don't want to hear anymore bitching about chapter length.**


	17. Chapter 17

**So I drew a picture of Grace (Trent's mom). When you put a link in a fic on this website it takes it out. So I'm going to try to put it in here with spaces in it and you'll just take the spaces out. **

**http: /bungeearms. deviantart. com/art/Grace-a-young-mother-209257495**

**If that doesn't work out right just message me and I can tell you how to get to my deviant art or just give you the link. If your friends with on me on Facebook as some of you are as you went and found me you have probably already seen it. Let me know what you all think. Should I do the other characters? Mine not the Twilight characters, we all know what they look like.**

I sat down in the same ancient vinyl chair that I had been sitting in before. I have never seen a guy cry let alone my boyfriend. Granted I've only I had two boyfriends but still. I've never seen someone look as broken as I was. Looking at Trent cower into the side of the couch and cry was like looking into a mirror of the past. How did he hide it so well? He gave off this cool and collected demeanor acting like nothing could ever faze him. Come to find out he struggles everyday with his demons, I never knew. Everything lately has been about me. What broke me, what made me unhappy, who I have to be protected from, me and my anxiety, me and my nightmares. I didn't realize how self centered I was being. Trent is definitely worse off than me that much is obvious. What kind of girlfriend does that make me if I can't even notice or realize that my boyfriend, who is always there when I need him, is in pain? I feel like such a bad person.

He had been fine talking in front of me for the first half hour. I learned a lot of things about him that I didn't know before. I didn't know his mother's name was Grace. And I definitely didn't know that Angela was Grace's best friend. I could see how that would really mess Trent up as a young kid and I could see how he could carry that with him later in life. I'm glad he talked to Angela though. I didn't know any of that was going on but I'm happy its' being worked on if not fixed.

I wish he had told me about how he was feeling about school. His anxiety and his wanting to use are not evident or obvious. But if it affects him that much it makes me wonder just how oblivious we all are to him. I'm starting to think we all take how strong he is for granted. We all just expect him to buck up, let it all roll off his back, and roll with the punches. But he's just hiding things from us and acting tough. He's burying things deep inside and not sharing. If he keeps doing that he might end up breaking or exploding and doing things he regrets. He could use again; he could end up in rehab again. He could end up spiraling out of control again. The old Trent he had described to me, the one he was in rehab, was a drug addicted, suicidal, anorexic and mute one. I don't ever want to see him like that. It may be selfish but I couldn't handle it if I had to see him like that.

The last thing I didn't know about was his nightmares. He didn't tell me and now I know why. I don't think that it's that he didn't want to, it's that he can't. He finds is physically and mentally impossible to talk about them with or around me. He wouldn't have shut down the way he did if he could. I wonder what they are about, or who. I want to help him, I want him to come to me with his problems. I'm desperate for him to really open up to me now that I know he was hiding so much more from me. I thought when he told me his story that he was laying all his cards on the table and opening himself up to me. Just like when I told Zach more story and he was eaves dropping. Since then I did go into more detail with him about me but I didn't realize he was leaving so much out when he talked to me. I can't be hurt by it though. He was protecting himself and probably thinks he was protecting me from him.

His fears that I will leave him or think of him in a different are completely baseless. He has nothing to worry about, I'm not going anywhere. But he doesn't seem to know that, and I don't know how to make him see it.

As I sat there in the lobby waiting for Trent I felt like I might fall apart. That old feeling of despair came creeping up on me. I felt like I did when I used to think of Edward. I wrapped my arms tightly around my chest and my breath started to pick up a little. I felt like such an awful and hateful person in that moment. I felt like I had no reason to ever be upset because my life hadn't been half as bad as Trent's. As I sat there I thought about all that I knew and all that I had learned in the last few weeks of knowing him and his family. I slowly forced myself to relax. If there's one thing I knew from being with them is that they all loved me and each other. They were a great support system and a strong family. In that moment of weakness I know they would all tell me to stop thinking the way I was. That I was none of the things that I was saying I was. And that I couldn't compare myself to Trent or anyone else.

I relaxed my body completely and leaned back in the chair, my arms coming to rest loosely by my sides. It had been a momentary panic but it was now gone and I was calm again and thinking clearly, extremely clearly actually. Always after one of these attacks my vision seemed sharper, my smell and taste sharper. My nerve endings always seemed to stand on end and become sensitive when I touched things.

My mind turned to what Dr. Moscovitz said about the Cullens and what I should do. I need to have a clear mind to think about this or I would delude myself into not doing what she wanted. She was right, I knew she was. I had gathered from the half of the session I had experienced that every time she told Trent to do something he did it and she was always right about how it would come out. I needed to talk to Edward and the rest of his family. She was completely right in saying that singling out Jasper and Emmett had upset him and set him on edge. What she didn't know was that he was a vampire, a predator. Even if he didn't hunt humans it was every vampire's natural instincts to hunt when challenged. If I wasn't careful, if I didn't assess the situation at hand and fix it I very well could become the hunted. I could become vampire prey once again. I couldn't let that happen, for my sake yes but for Trent and his family's as well. I would talk to Emmett and Jasper and have them set up a meeting with the rest of the family. The two of them would have to stay with me; I wouldn't be with the others alone. I didn't need them to try to gang up on me or anything like that. I would go alone though, without Trent or Zach, or any of the others. They couldn't be there. Topics of a hidden and sensitive nature could come up and if they found any of it out they could be in danger. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to them because of me.

I sat out in the lobby for a half hour waiting for Trent. When he did finally come out his eyes were blood shot, I could hear him sniffling like you do when you have just cried a lot and your nose gets all runny, his hair was messier than usual, and I could see wet spots on his T shirt from where his tears had fallen. Dr. M was right behind him as he came into the lobby.

"Tell Belinda at the front desk that we are switching you to once a week sessions instead of every other week okay?" She asked kindly. He nodded silently. My heart broke for him, was it that bad? "I'll see you tomorrow then, your Dad and Angela asked me to come to Forks for the day." She said patting him on the back. He nodded again. "It'll be okay." She said softly. Trent's face screwed up a little like he was stopping himself from crying. He turned fully towards her and pulled her into a hug. It shocked me for a second before I remembered that Dr. M was his godmother. She was the women who took care of him in the event of parental death. And it was obvious she had. When they were in doctor patient mode it wasn't very clear but now it was obvious they were close, extremely so. He pulled away slowly.

"See you tomorrow then Hope." He said. I smiled, he called her by her first name. It occurred to me that the three most important mother figures in his life had names that were beautiful attributes if that makes any sense. Hope, Grace, and Angel, well Angela.

Trent walked over to the women named Belinda who was sitting behind the front desk. I looked over at Dr. M who looked at me then.

"Will I see you tomorrow too Bella?" She asked. I nodded. "Good, I would like to talk to you some more." She said. She was smiling but I could feel her eyes analyzing my every move and expression.

"Definitely." I said in agreement. She nodded and waved before leaving the lobby for her office. I looked back to Trent. He was bent over the front desk pointing at something that Belinda was holding, from here it looked like a calendar. After a few minutes he straightened up, said good bye to her and then turned to me. As he walked to me he smiled and when he did that it seemed like the last hour didn't exist and he was completely fine. But I would never fool myself into thinking everything was what it seemed ever again. I stood up to meet him.

"Hey." I said quietly.

"Hey." He said back. "I was just scheduling my next couple of sessions. Every first and third week I'll see her on Wednesday's and every second and fourth week I'll see her on Fridays." He said taking my hand and leading me to the door. I nodded.

"Well that's good. If it'll help you I mean." I said smiling. He smiled back.

"It really will." He said. Suddenly his smile left and he looked nervous.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Um on the weeks that I see her on Wednesday I'll have to leave school early to see her. Her only open time is at the end of school. So I won't be in gym with you on those days." He said. I squeezed hand tightly.

"Its fine Trent, it really is." I said. We stopped beside my truck and looked at me unsure.

"Are you sure? Because I can go back in there and change it." He said as he started walking back toward the building. I pulled him back by his hand and pulled him in close to me. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. He hesitated for a second and then wrapped his arms just as tightly around me.

"It's fine, trust me. And now that I've got you in my grasp," I said goofily, he rolled his eyes.

"You know it wouldn't take much to keep me there." He said interrupting. I giggled and he kissed my forehead.

"Don't interrupt me I have something important to say." I said pinching his side. He jumped a little but nodded. "I want to tell you that your fears about my leaving you are completely baseless. And I know the way I just said that may be a little harsh but I want you to get through your think skull that I'm not going anywhere." I said sternly, all laughing gone. He stared down at me a little shocked before a smile broke across his face.

"You are amazing." He said. I snorted and leaned my head against his chest.

"Psh I know that, you're just figuring that out?" I asked cockily. He laughed and I could hear the air whoosh in his lungs. Then I could hear his lungs crackle and he started coughing. I could hear his lungs fight for breath and I could feel his heart beat pick up alarmingly under my cheek. He held me tightly to him as he coughed one arm around my waist the other coming up from behind my head to cover his mouth. It took a minute but he calmed down again. And when he did I could hear the whoosh of his lungs again, now steady, and I could feel his heart beat go back to normal.

"You okay?" I asked as he moved his hand from his mouth and wrapped that arm around my neck keeping me cemented to him.

"Yeah I'm fine." He said kissing the top of my head. He pulled away slightly to look at me. I looked up at him and he smiled. "Come on, it looks like it's going to rain." He said.

"No it doesn't." I said. He released me and opened my door I climbed in and he closed it for me. As he walked around the front I looked out the windshield at the sky. It looked fine to me. His door squeaked open and then slammed shut and he made himself comfortable behind the wheel. As he turned the key and my dino of a truck roared into being I heard a plunk on the windshield. As I looked outside a steady rain started falling.

"Really?" I asked.

"Told ya." He said smugly as he pulled out of our parking spot and onto the street.


	18. Hiatus until further notice

**My apologies but all stories are on hiatus until further notice.**


End file.
